I’m going to ask you a series of “first impression” questions. The goal is to have a good answer without thinking or analyzing too much.
If things like this make you anxious, relax. You’re in complete control here.
You may want to really put some legs under this exercise by writing down your answers somewhere.
Okay, ready? Give your first answer to the following questions. [click to continue…]
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Some of the most profound lessons in life can only be discovered face down in a proverbial ditch. And that’s where I found myself about 25 years ago. My career was crumbling. My family life was devastated. Whatever influence I had was waning quickly. My dreams were being shattered. I was a complete failure privately, and was about to be exposed as one publicly. And for the moment, it was right where God wanted me to be.
There as life was crashing in all around me, I asked the Lord one of the most life-changing questions I could have asked, and He was gracious enough to give me an answer.
How did I wind up here?
The Lord showed me three things – three huge, blinding, colossal choices or habits that set me up for a trip to the ditch. The first I’ve already covered here – I allowed myself to get discouraged in one area of my life, and soon discouragement spread like spiritual cancer.
Here is the second. I read it on the 18th of the month – I know this because it was in Proverbs 18. But reading it was like reading a lab report on the condition of my heart.
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment (Proverbs 18:1, NKJ)
At first blush it was obvious what that meant. I was a pastor. I was a public figure who made my living with words and relationships and eternal truths. I was “on” 24/7, or so I thought. So I gave every effort to play the part. I smiled pastor smiles. I prayed pastor prayers. I said pastor things. And when people asked me how I was doing, I gave pastor replies. “Good!” I would say, smiling.
I never told anybody otherwise.
I never shared what my biggest, most challenging obstacles were. I never shared the depths of what my dreams were, either for myself or for the church. I never told anybody I had gotten discouraged. I never asked for wisdom or help. I was a professional problem solver. I was supposed to be the solution to other people’s problems and the complete solution to my own… all the while presenting a front and leaving an impression that all was well.
The only way to pull all this off was to isolate myself. I even had a name for it – I called it “transparency to a point.” I would let people see and hear enough to believe I was being open and honest, but wouldn’t tell them too much.
Why? Pride, for sure, but that’s the third answer to the question… more on that later. Why isolate, then? Because I didn’t want people advising me to do what I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to ask for anybody else’s help to succeed. And I didn’t want to expose my life and work to somebody else’s opinion, wisdom, or direction.
In short, I isolated myself, and I was an idiot to do so. I would caution you against the same mistake. [click to continue…]
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Nobody talks about the life-changing leader who helped them raise their umbrella at the beach. Influence happens only rarely in comfort zones or times of ease. Vision is not the starry-eyed product of Monday morning quarterbacks or couch potatoes. Adversity was made for leadership. And leaders were made for adversity.
Seth Godin puts it this way: [click to continue…]
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Dear Laura Kate,
It was seven years ago this month that we welcomed you into the world. And what an amazing seven years it has been. Of course, there are plenty of things in this world to feel alarmed or sad about. For example, I seriously doubt that anyone has watched the news or read a newspaper in the last seven years that didn’t contain the word “terrorist” in it.
You have never known a world where, if people wanted to communicate, they actually had to look someone in the eye and use their voices to make words – or get a piece of paper and use a pen, pencil or crayon to write.
You have never known a world where English wasn’t a second language to “Textlish.”
You have never known a world without FaceBook, YouTube, or the iPhone. “Grammy/Mommy/Papa/whoever, can I play with your phone?” became standard conversation early in your life.
Over the years, thanks to social media and places like this site, we have watched you grow and known that you were created without a mold. So when you marshalled your forces and launched an all-out invasion on First Grade, we all braced for impact. [click to continue…]
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Why?
It’s the favorite question of three-year-olds, because at three you’re still innocent enough to believe it always merits an answer.
But as time passes and our “whys?” become more sophisticated, we begin to understand that there are often multiple layers and perspectives of answers to that question.
Then sometimes there is no answer at all. At least no answer that will ever satisfy our demand to know what on earth (or heaven or hell) is going on.
I don’t know why, and probably never will, somebody decided to stop dead still with no lights of any kind on in the fast lane of a freeway in New Orleans – just around a little curve.
I don’t know why, and probably never will, that had to take place just ahead of me.
I don’t know why, if such an appointment was necessary, it couldn’t have taken place during one of the many times I’ve cruised that stretch of highway alone, instead of when I was driving with my daughter and two grandsons.
I don’t know why, and probably never will, that high-speed rear-end collision turned into a hit-and-run. I hit and he ran, never to be seen or heard from again. [click to continue…]
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I’ve received just under 10,000 calls, texts, or emails over the last few weeks, all wanting to know the same thing: How’s the little sequoia tree doing?
So rather than answer it both all of them at once, I thought I’d give you an update here.
It’s ugly. [click to continue…]
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There’s a productivity that gets things done.
There’s another productivity that makes things one… that nourishes the soul and flourishes into gratitude…
Expectancy…
Joy.
This is Productivity of the Soul.
Both are important. [click to continue…]
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Thi lad I kne – a rathe larg, joll sor – onc joke, “I don’ hav a proble wit diet. I star on ever Monda!”
Th jok, o cours, hint a th proble.
Sor o lik th ki wh joine m scou troo afte bein a membe o tw other an wantin t star ove, workin o th ran o Tenderfoo.
Wh?
H like startin. Bu no pressin o o finishin. [click to continue…]
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Tense truth: Since we all have points of glaring weakness, it is far more efficient to focus on our strengths and partner with others to address our weaknesses. But sometimes we can’t escape the necessity of addressing those areas of epic incompetence. The key is discerning when to hunker down and deal with it, and when to hand it off to someone else.
+++++++
Need some encouragement? I can help you with that.
Need to find the right words to express something? I’m your guy.
Need me to remember a meeting or handle a detail I told you I would? Sure hope I wrote it down. With a reminder. In more than one place. Why? Because I’m awful – I mean awful – at details. Just ask some of my students about my “absent minded professor” moments.
Um, better still, don’t. [click to continue…]
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It doesn’t take much for a breeze
To become a roaring fury –
Or a gentle, soaking shower
To become a fierce, howling squall.
In a matter of mere moments,
The elements that nourish you
Can soon threaten to destroy you
Or just paralyze you with fear.
That is true in the natural…
More so in the relational.
Sometimes the waves that pound at you
Are tides of public opinion.
Sometimes the winds that howl to you
Are the voices of the critics.
Sometimes the raindrops that pelt you
Are problems with no solutions.
When storms are raging,
It’s time for engaging
Your faith, your hope, and your love. [click to continue…]
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