I.
It all started with a dream last week,
About a friend I hadn’t seen in more than a decade,
And hadn’t talked to in six years.
Even though it had been so long
And so much life had passed us by,
I realized how important he still is to me.
My love for him and his family is as strong as ever.
And that dream made me take a look at the tapestry of my relationships
And realize somebody was missing.
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Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were great friends. Throughout their near-lifelong friendship, as far as we know they never had a problem.
Never had a solution, either.
Friends? Yes. And boring.
Jefferson and John Adams? Boy, was that a different story. One looooong, near-lifelong debate. Fiery exchanges. Icy periods of silence. And one of the warmest, most profound collections of letters in history between these two icons, who died on the same day, 50 years to the day after the Declaration of Independence was signed.
Friends? Oh my, yes. They each had busts of the other in their homes. And Adams, not knowing his friend had already died, departed this life with these words: “Thomas Jefferson still survives.”
That said, let’s be honest. Few of us get up in the morning hoping to cross swords with friends. Or spouses. Or parents or kids or team members or employees or constituents or customers. (Dear Mark: Please call again soon – I promise I’ll be nicer on the recorded line for quality assurance purposes.) And yet the quality of your relationship is measured – not by the lack of conflict, but by how those conflicts are managed and solutions are forged.
(Dear Congress… Oh. Well. Never mind.)
Here’s how Thomas Gordon puts it: [click to continue…]
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(From the forthcoming book, Coach Lightning)
(Note: Anybody can be an influence to people sitting right in front of them. But it takes a special kind of character to continue to shape lives you first touched 50 years ago. The following is an excerpt about the way Morris Brown did that, and how his influence lives on to this day. You can see other excerpts here and here.)
Benjamin Disraeli, the British statesman, once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” That’s what you discover when you talk to the people whose lives were touched by Morris Brown. You hear the language of wealthy people. And they’ll tell you that Coach Brown was instrumental in revealing their riches to them.
One of the greatest contributions any leader, teacher, or friend can make in terms of influence is to “raise the bar” in the pursuit of excellence. Morris did that time and time again. Don Hunt calls him a “beacon in my heart and soul” to this day. From the days of Little League baseball until today, Don says, Coach Brown’s life and actions remind him to strive to be the best person that he can be.
It’s interesting to note that in all the conversations or interviews about Coach Brown’s influence, nobody went to a chalkboard and started drawing the X’s and O’s of a football locker room. Morris influenced players and students by first influencing them as people. As he helped raise up a generation of excellent people, the on-field or on-court play took care of itself. [click to continue…]
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Remember when you wanted that whatever-it-was from Santa Claus? Or your employer? Or your spouse or parents or educators or whoever… only to get it and be disappointed?
Remember when you thought, “If I could just make this amount of money, I would be content?” And you did… and you weren’t?
Remember the time you dreamed and dreamed and dreamed some more about a meaningful goal and were disappointed? But it didn’t keep you from dreaming some more?
Remember when you didn’t have your health or didn’t have any money or didn’t have anybody and it was all you could think about? Then when health or wealth or somebody showed up, it only served to point out something else you don’t have – and now all you think about is that?
All these and more are examples of something that stirs us, motivates us, alarms us or moves us in a certain direction, but never quite allows us to rest once we get where we think we’re going.
I’m talking about your Driving Force, and yes, you have one. Maybe more than one. [click to continue…]
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A Fable about leadership, teamwork, unity, and of course, honey…
It was a lovely morning in the Hundred Acre Wood, where Christopher Robin’s friends lived and played. The bees were abuzz making their honey (and You-Know-Who knew just who it was for).
Kanga had already gotten an early start on motherly things, while Roo was playing close by.
Piglet was pacing about his tidy home saying “Oh Dear, Dear, Dear” because he knew something Important was about to happen, but he couldn’t quite remember what it was.
Rabbit was tending his garden, nervously glancing around for signs that he soon may be bounced by Tigger.
Eeyore was a bit confused as he chomped on a thistle because he couldn’t think of anything to be gloomy about.
Owl was remembering the time to no one in particular that his great uncle Waldo on his mother’s side did something famous because it happened on a lovely day such as today.
And Winnie the Pooh? Being a Bear of Very Little Brain, he was sitting at the Thotful Spot, thinking. And wishing for just a bit of honey, because as everyone knows, bears think better when their tumblies aren’t so rumbly. And there’s nothing like honey to take the rumbly out of the tumbly.
This was no ordinary day after all. This was the day of the Grand Celebration. They weren’t quite sure what they were celebrating, but everyone had agreed that today would be a fine day to celebrate it. [click to continue…]
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Where does she get this stuff? I know that verse about “out of the mouths of babes,” but seriously? So here’s the story…
Kyle, my son-in-law, had been away on his second mission trip in three weeks – this one to Ecuador. Back home, Carrie was shepherding Shepherd and corralling the one she calls the “Big Sasster.”
A certified Daddy’s girl, Laura Kate was ecstatic when he got back. There back at the casa, Sassy Pants exclaimed, “This is our castle and our king has come home!”
All was well.
The promise of “soon” was replaced with the presence of “the king.” And she was once again with the man she loves more than all others.
And out of the mouth of a babe – well, technically a three-year-old – God perfected praise.
If only she knew – and one day she will… [click to continue…]
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“What would be s good time to come by your office?”
The voice on the other end of the phone was none other than Eugene Davis, Sophomore Christian and resident expert on all things spiritually enormous.
Normally Eugene would pop in, sort of like the Allies dropped by to pay the Germans a visit at Normandy. But this was different. It had the air of urgency. Eugene Davis was always serious and everything was important. But this was a step beyond. It was deliberate. Ruggedly precise. Appointment-worthy.
“I’m free about 3:00,” I said. ”What’s up?” (To this day I don’t like ambushes in meetings.)
“I think the Lord has given me a vision.”
“Well,” said I, ”I’ll be here. Come on by.”
Apparently I didn’t send the right signal. Didn’t catch the gravy of the situation. This was a vision. From God! [click to continue…]
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Here’s an old story that has been passed around and told in many versions. But the message is still strong and clear:
A wise, elderly man was busy working on the gate leading to his front door. His young grandson approached with the inevitable question, “Whatcha’ doin’, Grandpa?”
The fixer answered: “Laddy, there’s five kinds of broken things in this old world.
You got anything broken in your life? Anything lost or damaged? Any problems that won’t seem to go away? Any memories you didn’t ask for, or pain you don’t deserve? Any relationships out of whack, or people out of touch? Learn the lesson of Grandpa’s Gate.
Some things in our lives get broken beyond repair. [click to continue…]
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I have a Master’s degree in Moody. There are some who see the glass half full, and others who see the glass half-empty. Left to my own devices, I see the glass as 100% of whatever mood I may be in.
That said, I’m re-learning (God is such a patient teacher!) a powerful, powerful principle:
Never, never, never pass up an opportunity to say “Thank you.”
Why?
Because gratitude is the gateway to abundance. I am living it.
Gratitude widens the road – at least in the spirit, if not in the circumstances. As I live gratefully, forces line up to move the circumstances. But in the meantime, even while the circumstances are narrow, my soul is broad.
That’s hard for the Master of Moody to accept sometimes. I am capable of such broodiness that disciplined gratitude must be that – disciplined. And I don’t do it well. [click to continue…]
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Who is the shyest person you know? Picture them in your mind. Got it? Good. Now…
Imagine that person at the end of his or her life. And sometime just before they kiss this world good-bye they’re the guest of honor at the most amazing invitation-only celebration. This party is reserved for those whose life has somehow been touched – influenced – by Shy Guy himself.
Care to hazard a guess how many names are on the invitation list?
Ten thousand. A myriad. Ten thousand people whose lives are influenced by the most reserved, quiet girl or guy you know.
That’s nothing compared to the lives that have been impacted by bubbly ol’ you. And this isn’t about somebody else’s influence. It’s about yours.
This is about your myriad. Or in your case, perhaps your million. It’s about all the people who make decisions because of you. Who make changes because of you. Who establish relationships, try something new, dig deeper, grow wiser, or go farther because of your influence. Or, it’s about the people who grow hard-hearted, discouraged, dispirited, or fearful because you showed them how.
Somebody’s watching. Somebody’s doing. Somebody’s believing. Somebody’s changing. And they all have you to thank. [click to continue…]
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