A few months ago I was having a conversation with someone who was going through a recovery process. He sounded really healthy on the phone – sober in the best sense of the word. Then he said something really curious about his life.
“I’m so ready to get things back to normal.”
“Normal,” I told him, “was what got you in trouble in the first place. You’re ‘normal’ is being redefined, and that takes time. And as much as you want that, you are going to need to give it time to form.”
I was talking to a couple a few weeks after their first baby was born. I asked how things were going and got a predictable answer. “We love being parents, but we’re exhausted from lack of sleep,” Mom said.
Then Dad chimed in… “Yeah, we’re so ready to get back to normal.”
I guess I was a little rude, but I just laughed. In their face.
Know what’s always messed me up with New Year’s resolutions? New Year’s Day is a holiday. So all those goals and new beginnings typically start around January 2 and I’m already a day behind. Then I need to put up Christmas stuff and I’m two days behind. I’m getting tired just thinking about it. So I need some mental rest from the holidays. Three days behind.
So this year I brightened up and decided that this will take a bit more planning and thought. And yes, I’m talking slap-dab in the middle of the Christmas holidays.
So I’m writing this to myself, but inviting you to come along for the fun. Here are ten suggestions to prepare for the coming year – do all these by December 31, and you can have New Year’s Day off. I know, I know! You’re welcome! Click here to get started
(Sort-of-random thoughts after two road trips and some new journeys to come…)
For all the delight I have in seeing family, especially grandbabies, the comfort found in my own bed is irreplaceable.
I’ve been blessed by delighted voices that call me “Papa” and wordless raised hands that see in me the solution to the primal angst of not being able to reach a Ritz cracker without help. With that kind of adoration, what else in this life could be a more precious investment of time?
There was never a time I could remember when I didn’t want to be a father. But being a grandfather is like showing up at McAlister’s Deli on Free Tea Day having forgotten it was free tea day but there you are and the tea is free!
Some of life’s delights are limited to the moment – then they leave an emptiness that’s sort of like the crash you get after eating a lot of sugar. On the other hand, some of life’s delights feel as if God has poured permanent joy in me, even when I’m tired and know the “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” and “Elmo’s Greatest Hits” lyrics by heart. [click to continue…]
“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra
Had a blast from my past yesterday. I returned to the scene of one of my greatest personal undertakings, which I wrote about here. And it was an interesting reunion.
Twenty years ago, flush with vision and excitement, I began a project that many people refer to today as their Bucket List. I took three pieces of paper and began three lists – 100 Things I Would Like to Be, Do, and Have. Now 20 years later, it felt good to see some of the things that had been achieved. Earning a Ph.D. was one of those. Becoming a grandfather was another.
I also found things on the lists that still had value to me, but had yet to be fulfilled. Places to go. Things to accomplish. Roles to embrace.
In between was a lot of fluff, trivia, and some disappointments. If I intended to do anything with the lists anymore, it was definitely time for an overhaul. Some things needed to be punted. (Example: I had listed about nine different master’s degrees. Hey… it was a phase.) Some things needed to be written off as a bust (no more dreams of Rogaine or the Hair Club for Men). And some things were valid, but needed serious reworking.
Most importantly, over the last 20 years, my horizon has changed in major ways. What was important – heck what was possible back then – has changed dramatically.
In the process of some major course correction and target adjustments, I’ve learned some things about how to recognize goals that need reevaluating or reshaping. Take a look at where you are headed in light of these warning signs: [click to continue…]
I’ve lost count of the number of times I have written this word – much less said it (at least to myself). It was a complete waste of time.
I’ve kept a journal for 17 years now (something I highly recommend), and there’s no telling how many times I confessed to this feeling. But not once did it ever create my future, solve a problem, or breathe life into a situation. In fact, it’s more likely to be a sign of defeat, discouragement, or slow death.
It may be a legitimate feeling. But if feelings are designed to prompt us to action, the only thing this feeling ever prompts us to do is make excuses, whine, or wave the white flag. In small doses it may be a call to action. But in standard use, it’s emotional poison, and I hate it.
So I’ve decided to lock this word in a vault and reserve it for special occasions. I may let it out every once in a while, but only with a chaperone. I suggest you do the same.
(Sort-of-random thoughts at 30,000 feet with a lot of free time on my hands…)
It takes minutes to make paper fly; to build something capable of carrying you long distances takes months, and a lot of helpful, smart people. The same is true with your important dreams – and your character.
You were created with the language of Forever in your heart, and nothing else will satisfy.
“I will” spoken with resolve has power, but your resolve will be tested and the limits of your willpower will be exposed.
You were not born with the wisdom and capacity to wait, but wisdom and reward waits for those who learn to.
God created the world for you, not you for the world – but He does hold you accountable for leaving it better than you found it.
A thousand opportunities dance before those whose eyes are open to see them. Ten thousand chances pass by those too lost in fear or consuming to notice them.
Summers are God’s way of showing that you don’t have to be in a classroom to learn.
I just saw a man express his gratitude by giving up his first class seat to a woman… who happened to be wearing a United States Army uniform. I wonder how I can say thank-you to somebody today.
I will always respect the one who can wait (there’s that word again) with discipline, but then decisively act with courage.
I’m not so sure that God has a plan for you so much as God has a plan period and invites you to participate joyfully in it… Or bruise yourself on it. [click to continue…]
our days are like a passing shadow (Psalm 144:3-4).
As this shadow passes across another year, what’s obvious on the playground becomes clearer in life: the further away from that initial push, the shorter the passes are.
Somewhere near you is an Eeyore in Tigger’s clothing. They’re bouncy, flouncy, trouncy, pouncy, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun on the outside. But on the inside they’re desperately alone and resigned to eating thistles. And you can make a difference.
There is somebody not far away who is adored for all they do and have to offer. They have no shortage of attention, compliments, and outright praise. Yet for all the attention and admiration they receive, they are profoundly lonely. Why? Because while many people are amazed by them, nobody seems to understand them. But you can.
It’s the chameleon of the emotional world. It blends seamlessly into any environment, and play-acts with the best of the cons. It can empower anybody to be hysterically funny in order to disguise the depression and isolation. It can offer wisdom or encouragement or insight to anybody else, but receives precious little in return. It can mimic the language of the spiritual, with talk of solitude and prayer and hearing God – yet all the while it disguises a relational wasteland. But you can (and should) break through all that.
Loneliness. Ever since Eve and her husband were evicted from their first home, something in us has ached with a longing for companionship and deep connection. We want to know we are searched (understood) thoroughly, known intimately, and loved unconditionally. [click to continue…]
A few months ago I was having a conversation with someone who was going through a recovery process. He sounded really healthy on the phone – sober in the best sense of the word. Then he said something really curious about his life.
