Grab a pen and a legal pad. You’ve got some writing to do, and you get one chance to get this right. Soon your number’s going to be called, and there’ll be no more letters, no more encouraging, no more leading…
…no more living.
Everything you have worked for on this side of eternity is hanging in the balance. And the guy you’ve picked as your successor – your standard bearer?
He’s AWOL.
Some people, when they burn out, act out. This guy burned out, and hid out.
And you have one chance to light a fire under him before somebody, well, lights a fire under you, so to speak. What would you say? How would you say it? Is this a time for force or finesse? Rah-rah or sob-sob? [click to continue…]
Leading Individuals and Teams Through Conflict
Thomas Jefferson and James Madison were great friends. Throughout their near-lifelong friendship, as far as we know they never had a problem.
Never had a solution, either.
Friends? Yes. And boring.
Jefferson and John Adams? Boy, was that a different story. One looooong, near-lifelong debate. Fiery exchanges. Icy periods of silence. And one of the warmest, most profound collections of letters in history between these two icons, who died on the same day, 50 years to the day after the Declaration of Independence was signed.
Friends? Oh my, yes. They each had busts of the other in their homes. And Adams, not knowing his friend had already died, departed this life with these words: “Thomas Jefferson still survives.”
That said, let’s be honest. Few of us get up in the morning hoping to cross swords with friends. Or spouses. Or parents or kids or team members or employees or constituents or customers. (Dear Mark: Please call again soon – I promise I’ll be nicer on the recorded line for quality assurance purposes.) And yet the quality of your relationship is measured – not by the lack of conflict, but by how those conflicts are managed and solutions are forged.
(Dear Congress… Oh. Well. Never mind.)
Here’s how Thomas Gordon puts it: [click to continue…]
Showtime… Get up.
Your long-held dreams may soon come true, but someone has to hoist the sail to catch the wind that carries you to your destination. That someone is you. There’s no limit to what you can accomplish or where you can go. That is, unless you never bother to set the sail and position yourself to prosper.
You can listen to your fears or live as if nobody cares some other time. But not on my watch. [click to continue…]
If your paychecks came from Ford Motor Company in the 1970s, you lived in an ugly time. Morale was low. Sales were taking a beating. Quality was “job none.” And the company operated from an entrenched system of rules and regulations. Into that demoralized environment, Donald Peterson became Ford’s CEO in 1980.
Peterson showed up tossing words around like “teamwork” and “upward communication.” But words mean nothing to entrenched bureaucracies. So Peterson tried something radical – he left his office. He would walk into the offices of designers and ask simple questions like:
- Do you like these cars?
- Do you feel proud of them?
- Would you park one in your driveway?
I think you can guess the answer he received.
Your job, Peterson said, is to come up with the cars you think will sell – cars you can be proud of. The results were stunning and quick, by auto industry standards. The first significant product was the 1983 Thunderbird, followed quickly by the wildly successful Taurus, which became the best-selling midsized car in America.
That was just for starters. During the 1980s, Ford reversed its dismal previous performance to record then-record-breaking profits. Peterson was chosen by his fellow CEOs as the nation’s most effective leader, surpassing even Lee Iacocca.
What made the difference? Donald Peterson was a Side-by-Side Leader. In the words of Robert Richardson and Katherine Thayer, “Peterson didn’t accomplish all this by sitting behind a desk and telling people what he wanted done. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and jumped in. He provided a direction and goal and then participated in making them reality.”
Your Worst Skydiving Fear
Imagine you are an inexperienced skydiver. You’ve been on a few jumps, but still think of yourself as a rookie. It’s a beautiful day for flying and jumping out of airplanes, so up you go. You reach the point where it’s time to pull the ripcord, and it malfunctions. To your horror, so does the backup chute.
Suddenly it’s not such a good day for jumping out of airplanes. [click to continue…]
Does your team have what it takes to go the distance?
Something happens when people get together to forge a team. Unfortunately, that “something” isn’t always what you’re looking for. See if you recognize any of these teams from your experience:
Team Fritter. Talk about potential. It seems as though whenever they’re on the ropes, somehow the miraculous happens and they live to see another day. On the other hand, every time it seems they have the chance for that big breakthrough they flounder. Never fully realizing their potential, they choke every time they get ahead.
Team Glitter. This bunch has success written all over it. Smart, good-looking, and well-liked, things came fast and easy for Team Glitter. Too fast. And too easy. Before you know it, what appears to shimmer is anything but gold. And the team comes caving in under the load of its own scandal(s), greed, and dishonesty.
Team Bitter. Another story of lost potential, this team doesn’t have an integrity problem. It has an anger problem. A big anger problem. Sucked in by jealousy and dispirited by feelings of rejection or failure, this team sabotages its own enormous potential by holding onto the bitterness, anger, or mistrust. [click to continue…]
Joey’s feeling pretty small today. That’s what happens when you’re supposed to have the right words to say and there are no right words for a family in needless grief and pain. So Joey just hangs there, offering the ministry of presence. Hoping to offer some kind of life or lift that will help. But who will lift the lifter, and remind Joey what it’s like to stand tall and strong again?
Joey needs a carrier.
Alicia would never admit this, but she’s a living example of a Proverbs 31 woman. Greatly admired, if not revered, she never seems to sleep, and lives pedal-to-metal most of the time. She gets more work done by lunchtime than girls half her age and boys of any age do all day. But behind the success and flair, Alicia hides an ugly secret: She’s exhausted, and nearing the point of just not caring anymore. And though she has a hard time admitting she can’t do it all, she, too, needs a carrier.
Joey and Alicia are real-life examples of somebody who’s near you, or who is you, right now…
- Tired, but no end or help in sight…
- Overwhelmed, but no clarity about what to hold onto and what to let go of…
- Weepy at times for no apparent reason, or for any little cause…
- Feeling abandoned or opposed against the tide of opinions, accusations, or criticism…
- Disappointed by those once trusted, confused in the very areas that once produced confidence …
- Surrounded by pain, yet seemingly helpless to do anything about it…
All these and more are the unmistakable signs of someone – maybe you – who is calling for a carrier, whether they know it or not. [click to continue…]
Phillip’s down, and he thinks he’s out.
Life hasn’t been kind to the 33-year-old; in fact, life has been brutally unfair. In just one calendar year, Phillip left his friends due to a job transfer, lost the job that transferred him due to downsizing, suffered an excruciating ankle break in a pick-up basketball game, and separated from his wife of seven years, though they are working on things.
Phillip tries to be hopeful when everything around him feels fatal. But he can’t mask the confusion. How can a year that started with such promise and confidence leave him feeling so lost and broken? How can a life driven with such expectancy just a few months ago feel so aimless now?
But what Phillip can’t see because he’s in too deep is how close he is to the Circle’s End.
Karen can’t believe her eyes, but there’s no mistaking that little “plus” sign. After months and months of futility, what she has dreamed of all her life is finally happening. She’s going to have a baby. That’s a much better explanation for that morning nausea than “stomach flu.”
The enchantment she and her husband are feeling is surely a precursor of things to come. The family they both have dreamed of. The joy and delights of holding that little one for the first time. The expectancy that life has made a turn for the better, and there is nowhere to go but forward.
And she’s right… to a point. But just as tides ebb and flow, Karen will eventually reach the Circle’s End.
However you would classify your circumstances, one thing is certain – they’re anything but still. [click to continue…]
Dateline Barcelona, 1992. The Summer Olympics are hosting the first-ever competition of the truly-best in their respective nations, as professionals and amateurs are all invited to the party. The United States has assembled a collection of NBA-plus-one stars that may be the best roster to ever take a tip-off. And their nickname: “The Dream Team.”
This isn’t about basketball. It’s about teams, and how you need a “dream team” of your own. Not the kind the wins medals, but the kind that empowers lives. While our culture idolizes the individual, the truth is, you were designed by creation and redesigned by gifts and talents to need the contributions of others in order to maximize your potential. I’d like to show you how to go about doing it. [click to continue…]
(From the forthcoming book, Coach Lightning)
Mention Morris Brown’s name around Jones County, Mississippi to anybody who knew him, and they’ll probably reply, “Oh, you mean Coach?” Not much chance of somebody piping up and saying, “He was my Social Studies teacher!”
But don’t let the labels fool you. Coach was always a teacher at heart. And while a football field or basketball court may have been his favorite classrooms, they certainly weren’t his only ones. There were precious few, if any, specialists in rural education in the 1950s. But that was fine with Coach Brown. He willingly embraced teachable moments wherever the situation called for it.
Just ask Dale Holifield, who grew up on a small farm in Jones County. At age 11, Dale was so shy he could have been considered antisocial. Outside of farming, he participated in very few activities. Even when he went hunting and fishing, he usually did it alone. All of that changed one summer day at the W. C. Houston grocery store, across from Shady Grove School. Dale was getting a cold RC cola to drink and chatting with Bubba Houston, the store owner’s son. The time came for Bubba to go to baseball practice, and he invited Dale to come along. Dale reluctantly accepted, and joined Bubba at the small practice field behind Bubba’s house. Hoping not to be noticed, Dale took a seat on the ground under a shade tree to watch the practice.
He didn’t sit very long. [click to continue…]
(Something of a “life lessons year in review,” in no certain order. I’d love to hear yours. Feel free to add your own in the comments section.)
1. How awesome your cancer surgeon is.
2. How nice people can be, even when you wish they would just hate you.
3. How God provides, even sometimes for fools.
4. The sun really does come out tomorrow.
5. How to spell “aneurysm.”
6. Life goes on, with you or without you.
7. Contrary to the words to the MASH theme, suicide is NOT painless.
8. Failure doesn’t stop people from loving you.
9. Rejection does not come with a cocoon to wrap you away for a while.
10. Nobody is more committed to your success than you are. [click to continue…]
Grab a pen and a legal pad. You’ve got some writing to do, and you get one chance to get this right. Soon your number’s going to be called, and there’ll be no more letters, no more encouraging, no more leading…
