You Want Me to WHAT?

by Andy Wood on April 14, 2010

in 100 Words

Dear Nurse Ratched, 

I just thought I should let you know that in the event I’m having symptoms of a heart attack or stroke, I probably won’t be signing in. 

I’ll be more concerned about checking out.

Of course, the whole stroke thingy is a bit dicey anyway, ‘cause I have a 50/50 chance of being unable to use my left (writing) hand.

And if I think I’m having a heart attack, I’ll assure you, you won’t be able to read my writing. 

You’ll just have to open the door and say,

“Mr. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH, the doctor will see you now.”

(Photo by Mike Tekula)

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Sissies and Wimps Need Not Apply

by Andy Wood on April 12, 2010

in Executing Your Plan, Five LV Laws, Principle of Freedom

“It’s going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it”  -Kin Hubbard.

“The meek shall inherit the earth – if that’s okay with everybody” (Motto of the Dependent Organization of Really Meek and Timid Souls, or D.O.O.R.M.A.T).  -J. Upton Dickson

“He leads the humble in what is right, teaching them his way. The LORD leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all those who keep his covenant and obey his decrees.”  -Psalm 25:9-10, NLT

It’s quiet on this Monday morning, except for the sound of a rooster and a fiddle, an infant’s grunts from his swing, and a toddler’s delighted dancing as she watches – again – the Baby Einstein “Life on the Farm” video.  Watching the two of them – especially with scenes from an abundant earth passing by – reminds me from the last post how we were wired from creation and birth. 

We were created to inherit the earth.  It’s in our DNA.  But in the wisdom of God, He knew we would need help.  His help.  Without it, we have the capacity to do – well, what we’ve pretty much done with the planet.

That’s why Jesus – quoting Psalm 37 – said that the delighted happiness that comes from inheriting the earth is reserved for a specific kind of person.  Yep – the meek.

So He Reserves It for Sissies?

Not exactly.  [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Your Most Powerful Hidden Desire

by Andy Wood on April 10, 2010

in Consumers, Enlarging Your Capacity, Five LV Laws, LV Alter-egos, LV Cycle, Principle of Freedom

Inside you lurks a deep desire. 

It’s quiet, but compelling. 

It’s one of the secrets of everything that motivates you – in fact, your deep, abiding happiness depends on it.  Yet it’s so hidden, so behind-the-scenes, that if I were to ask you to list your strongest longings, I’m almost certain this wouldn’t make the list. 

But it’s there.  It’s powerful.  And your response to it may well be the difference between addicted and sober. 

Between ambition and actualization. 

Between frustration and fulfillment. 

The desire?  [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

Where Will You Be in Ten Years?

by Andy Wood on April 8, 2010

in Five LV Laws, Principle of Legacy, Turning Points

It was a surprising experience – seeing old friends, and people I had said good-bye to almost ten years earlier in that south Mississippi town.  I was surprised at the warmth of their response.  I was surprised at the depth of their respect for me.  I was surprised at the intensity with which they prayed and expected good things from this youth retreat I was to lead.  I was surprised at how many names I remembered, and how natural it still felt to love them – even though I had not seen them in so long a time.

Needless to say, there was a rush of memories.  Like the time I borrowed Don’s reel-to-reel tape recorder, and he said to me at least three times, “Please lock it up in your office.”  I forgot.  Don didn’t.  He went back to check the church the next morning, and there was his tape recorder.  (Pause here to shudder). 

There were memories of the homes where we held Bible studies.  Memories of the King’s Inn – the Christian coffee house we started (the sign still hung outside the deserted building). 

I also was reminded of the married adult retreat I was asked to help lead while I was there – and wound up being the only single person on the trip.  This really entertained everyone when the other retreat leader was doing his session on marital intimacy.  I was not amused. [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

You Should Have Called Me

by Andy Wood on April 6, 2010

in Leadership, Life Currency, LV Cycle, Protecting Your Investment, Turning Points

I got fired.  I’d like to tell you why.

Just before I started grad school, I got a sales job with a unique premise.  “Come to work for my janitorial company,” Sergio said, “and I will pay you a commission for as long as we clean the building.”

Remember that thing your mama told you about something sounding too good to be true?  Yeah, that.

Living in a city the size of Fort Worth, I could easily see the potential for making some really good money for a long time.  After all, the city was filled with office buildings, and that was the focus of Fort Worth Enterprises – particularly the big ones.

You can imagine how my eyes danced with dollar signs when I helped land the company’s first big account – no less than Hulen Mall.   [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

The 380 and The 120

by Andy Wood on April 4, 2010

in Consumers, Five LV Laws, LV Alter-egos, Principle of Eternity

What are you going to do with the resurrection of Jesus?

Let’s assume for a minute that you actually believe it.  That three days after He was crucified, He actually rose from the dead and ascended into heaven.

Now what?

I guess you and I have to decide where to file that.  We can be part of the 380.  Or we can be part of the 120. [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

The Advocate

by Andy Wood on April 2, 2010

in Five LV Laws, Principle of Eternity

Heard any good lawyer jokes lately?  Here’s one: 

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

All fooling aside, I have a new appreciation for the justice system these days.  There, when a person is accused of a crime, it is required of the system (the court) that he/she have an advocate.  The advocate’s sole responsibility is to look after the best interests of the accused. 

Q: Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

A: Professional courtesy.

It is not the advocate’s job to determine guilt or innocence; that’s for the judge and/or jury. 

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

A: Not enough sand. 

It is not the advocate’s job to be liked or appreciated. 

Q: What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. 

The one task – the one focus – of the advocate is to stand in the gap for the accused.

When popular culture collides with the legal system, advocates get a bum rap.  These attorneys are portrayed as ruthless, win-at-all-cost scoundrels who will do anything to get the defendant off, guilty or not.

Exactly.

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?

A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, insects, and nightcrawlers. 

So why the appreciation for advocates?  Because I know what it’s like to need and not have one.  My guess is, you do too.  Have you ever sat defenseless outside a closed door while somebody else made decisions affecting you?

For those who trust and follow Christ, however, the story doesn’t end there.  Even when we have no advocate in the board room, the committee or wherever, we have an Advocate nonetheless.  Check this out: [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

How to be a Master Life-Juggler

by Andy Wood on March 31, 2010

in Ability, Allocating Your Resources, Life Currency, LV Cycle, Time

Jugglers fascinate me.  Not the run-of-mill, three-balls-in-the-air type, but the ones I call the Master Jugglers.  I love the guys or gals who can toss torches, chainsaws, balls and small animals all at the same time.   Well, maybe not the small animals part, but you get the point. 

In a sense, we’re all jugglers.  Only, instead of swords or bowling pins, we juggle life.  And that’s who this article is for – the jugglers.  For the ones who have multiple “balls” in the air – time balls, relationship balls, money balls, even ambition balls.  Every one claims to be a priority.  Every one demands attention, and often wants it now.  In the middle of all that, you and I have a choice:  Handle them – or they will handle you.

In order to successfully juggle rather than being tossed around yourself, there are four issues you will need to settle: [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

10 Reasons Why Forgiving is a Bad Idea

by Andy Wood on March 29, 2010

in Exploring the Possibilities, LV Cycle

Today’s guest post is by Leonard Grimm.  Leonard has been a deacon in three of my churches in the old days (he was stalking me), and is my favorite axe-grinder.  As you can tell, he has a bit of a different idea about forgiveness. Actually, Leonard has a different idea about a lot of things. 

 Leonard has issues.  Lots of ‘em.  But in the interest of equal time and continuing the uh, discussion, here’s Leonard.

+++++++

Get a bunch of Christians and other religious people like me together, and somebody will eventually start talking about forgiving your neighbor, “seventy times seven,” and all that stuff.  Well, I’m here to tell you, that’s a buncha hooey.  If you’re pouting, shouting, or planning your next attack, hang in there and stay the course.  Here are 10 reasons you should rethink all that forgiveness stuff:

1.  It still hurts.

Just because you send the jerk on his merry way doesn’t mean his offenses don’t hurt anymore.  And if you’re still hurting, why should he get off scott free?  I think you need to remind his sorry soul every time you’re having a bad day.

2.  It sends the message that you approve of what they did.

So the dirtbag comes along and says, “I’m sorry,” and you say, “Oh, it’s okay” with that sugar-sweet churchy voice.  We all know what that means – “It’s really not that bad.  I know you didn’t mean to drive drunk, cheat, steal or lie.  I’ve probably done worse that.”  Puh-leeze!  You just signed his hall pass to do it all over again. [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

The Bus

by Andy Wood on March 27, 2010

in Esteem, Life Currency, Tense Truths

Inspired by an analogy I heard from my friend Bill at lunch yesterday…

Let’s say you’re a camp counselor.  And on this day you’ve loaded up 45 nine- and ten-year-olds on the bus for an outing.  Everybody’s had a great time as you have taken them into the city or to the beach… picture you own favorite locale for a gang of kids to have a blast.

Now it’s time to head back to the camp.  So you load ‘em up and move ‘em out.

That’s when it hits you.  You forgot the first rule of kids-on-the-bus management.

Yep.  You forgot to count heads.

Forty-one.  Forty-two.  Forty-three.  Forty-uh oh.

It’s every kid herder’s worst fear.  You’ve left somebody behind.  He’s lost.

So what do you do? [click to continue…]

{ Comments on this entry are closed }

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →