Shame

An Unveiled Face

by Andy Wood on February 14, 2012

in Esteem, Five LV Laws, Life Currency, Love, LV Cycle, Principle of Eternity, Waiting

We don’t wear veils much anymore – certainly not in this culture.  Unless, of course, “we” are a bride on her wedding day.  Nobody from Paris or New York sends skinny models down the runway wearing the latest veil fashions. And chances are, you won’t find them in Macy’s or Chico’s or that fabulously French discounter Target either.

But make no mistake about it.  We still wear them – sometimes for good reason, sometimes not.

Veils are for hiding.  For creating boundaries and secret spaces.  And sometimes that’s a good idea.  Ever meet somebody at a bus stop or party and ask the customary “How are you?” and they tell you?  In detail?  Sorta makes you wish you had a veil (or a gag) in your back pocket.

At other times veils are symbols or expressions of something else.  They are reminders of how broken, how sinful, how messed up we are.  The veil dresses up on the outside what is ugly or painful on the inside. [click to continue…]

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Dawn at the Museum

by Andy Wood on January 27, 2012

in Five LV Laws, Insight, Life Currency, LV Alter-egos, LV Cycle, Pleasers, Principle of Freedom, Protecting Your Investment

Have you ever woken up first thing in the morning and realized you were in a museum?

And you were what was on display?

You may not have recognized the location at first because everything seemed so real.  You were traveling through one mental display after another of your past life.

Names.

Faces.

Feelings.

Friends.

Sometimes the scenes are wistful and happy reminders of people and days gone by.  Sometimes you’re reliving the glory days.  But sometimes it plays out more like a horror movie or a disaster cleanup.  It’s ugly – and you’re the reason.

It may be a new day on the outside, but in here you’re trapped in the old ones. [click to continue…]

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How to Set Your Heart on Fire

by Andy Wood on August 26, 2011

in Ability, Allocating Your Resources, Five LV Laws, Insight, Life Currency, Love, LV Cycle, Principle of Increase

Grab a pen and a legal pad.  You’ve got some writing to do, and you get one chance to get this right.  Soon your number’s going to be called, and there’ll be no more letters, no more encouraging, no more leading…

…no more living.

Everything you have worked for on this side of eternity is hanging in the balance.  And the guy you’ve picked as your successor – your standard bearer?

He’s AWOL.

Some people, when they burn out, act out.  This guy burned out, and hid out.

And you have one chance to light a fire under him before somebody, well, lights a fire under you, so to speak.  What would you say?  How would you say it?  Is this a time for force or finesse?  Rah-rah or sob-sob? [click to continue…]

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Missing

by Andy Wood on August 1, 2011

in Ability, Five LV Laws, Life Currency, Love, LV Alter-egos, LV Cycle, Pleasers, Principle of Freedom, Tense Truths, Waiting

I.

It all started with a dream last week,

About a friend I hadn’t seen in more than a decade,

And hadn’t talked to in six years.

Even though it had been so long

And so much life had passed us by,

I realized how important he still is to me.

My love for him and his family is as strong as ever.

And that dream made me take a look at the tapestry of my relationships

And realize somebody was missing.

[click to continue…]

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The Satisfaction of the Soul

by Andy Wood on March 16, 2011

in Esteem, Five LV Laws, Life Currency, Love, LV Cycle, Principle of Eternity, Waiting

Somewhere in the places where sighs give way to hope and promises sing to aching hearts, your soul waits for something different.  More than the pleasure of a passing moment or those 15 minutes of look-at-me, you were created with a craving soul.  “He has planted eternity in the human heart,” Solomon said, “but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”

One day – sooner rather than later – that craving will be satisfied.  And not by what the pavement is made of or what the real estate market is like past the pearly gates.  Not by something that resembles Sunday morning at the church house, Monday noon at the White House, or Friday night at the penthouse.  Craving souls are smarter and deeper than that.

One day – nearer rather than farther – tired hearts, stale relationships and flyblown religion will give way to a new dawn.   And at long last your soul will taste satisfaction.  Ashes will give way to beauty.  You’ll trade your mourning in for the oil of joy.  You’ll wear a garment of praise – complete with dancing shoes – instead of a spirit of heaviness.  In the satisfaction of the soul… [click to continue…]

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How God Comforts a Grieving Heart

by Andy Wood on February 9, 2011

in Five LV Laws, Insight, Life Currency, Principle of Legacy

It was a year ago today.  

In one sense, as my Dad said yesterday, it has flown by.  In another, it felt like a thousand years.

But if one thing has emerged from the past 365 days, it’s that when people or Bible writers talk about the “God of All Comfort,” I can say “Amen” and turn the pages with credibility.

But it didn’t start – or end – with the events surrounding my mother’s sudden death.  In fact, the biggest lesson of all was that healing of the heart is a journey through time.

Translation:  Don’t tell me how much comfort or encouragement you’re feeling in the funeral home.  You have no clue yet about comfort.  You’re still being buoyed and insulated by kind people and the truths of your faith.

Comfort – the real kind – comes later.

In the last year, I have been blessed to live what I have preached for years – that the words we use about a Heavenly Father who is who is able to empathize with our weaknesses and invites us to boldly approach a throne of grace are all true.  And believe me, other than the promise of eternal life, I can’t think of a promise that is more vital.

How does He do it?  If you’re the one just leaving the cemetery or the courthouse or the hospital, what can you expect?  How does the Lord put the pieces back together?  While every experience of loss – whether it is through death, rejection, forced job termination, or the death of a dream – is unique, I think I have found some common elements in the way our Heavenly Father brings about His healing. [click to continue…]

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The 10 False Beliefs of Shame

by Andy Wood on September 22, 2010

in LV Alter-egos, Pleasers

Feeling worthless lately?  Like you’re living under a cloud of futility or failure?  Chances are, it’s because you’re being lied to, and you’re choosing to believe the lie.  Below are ten hidden rules – ten lies – that, when we take them to heart, leave us knee-deep in a life of shame (and shame-based behavior).  They are beliefs, using lies, leading to shame, hopelessness, ineffectiveness, and turmoil.

See how many have seeped into your belief system:

1.  If I do it, I must do it reasonably well.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.  But it certainly should be awesome.

2.  If I do it reasonably well today, I must do it even better tomorrow.

Growth and improvement lead to better performance, which ultimately leads to perfection. [click to continue…]

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Welcome to the Race of the Humans

by Andy Wood on September 9, 2010

in Esteem, Five LV Laws, Life Currency, Principle of Freedom

I want to talk to you about something that for some people is pretty painful and scary.  Because of that, I want to say first that I am writing this in love.  I hope you can feel the love that compels me to say these things, even if they are difficult to receive or comprehend.

If this isn’t for you, it’s for somebody you know.  Maybe you can pass it along.

The truth is, I am afraid for you.

As you look in the mirror, as you go forth into the world, and as you relate to others, you only know two views.

You’re either a hero or a zero.

You are either on a pedestal or in the sewer.  [click to continue…]

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From Shame to Grace

by Andy Wood on April 16, 2010

in Esteem, Five LV Laws, Life Currency, LV Alter-egos, Pleasers, Principle of Freedom

And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast.

Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion,

and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance;

and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,

and everlasting joy will be theirs (Isaiah 61:6-7, NIV).

It’s a scary journey, the move from shame to grace.  But it’s a journey every growing believer in Christ, every recovering addict, every healing soul must take.  The paths are often unfamiliar.  Lessons must be un-learned and relearned.  You will be forced to face down familiar, but largely unchallenged beliefs.

People who live in the realm of shame live in a world the Brennan Manning describes as “huffing and puffing to impress God.”

It’s a realm of performance.  Brownie points or self-condemnation.  Self-fixing mixed with wallowing in guilt.  Comparing ourselves to others in order to feel superior… or to prove what an absolute joke we are.  “You’re nothing,” shame whispers.  “And if people really knew you, they would agree.”

As much of a liar as shame is, sometimes it’s more comfortable to return to old patterns of thinking and feeling.  It’s embarrassing and uncomfortable to confront the truths of the scandalous grace of God.

“I am a creation of infinite worth?” Ridiculous.

“I am totally forgiven?” What do you mean, “totally?”

“I am completely loved, fully pleasing?” In what universe?  What absurd fantasy?

Challenge that!  Confess the truth, whether it lines up with your feelings or the twisted logic of shame or not.  And most of all, learn to accept the grace of God as it is expressed through the graciousness of others.

The secret is gratitude.  When a friend encourages you, when someone offers a gift, when another praises you, receive it with the same graciousness in which it was offered.

Try this for practice: [click to continue…]

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Hindsight is for Idiots

by Andy Wood on January 21, 2010

in Five LV Laws, Insight, Life Currency, LV Cycle, Principle of Legacy, Protecting Your Investment, Tense Truths

Tense Truth:  Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.  But we are virtually helpless to reinterpret history for ourselves.  We need a Source of truth that isn’t subject to the distortions we bring to hindsight.

+++++++++++++++++++

Ms. Past, she’s such a wicked lady,

Ms. Past, she’s always there a waiting,

She’s the Devil’s favorite tool,

She’ll play you like a fool,

She’ll try until she rules.

-Michael and Stormie Omartian

Whoever said hindsight is 20/20 needs new glasses.

Hindsight is blind as a bat. 

It’s a house of mirrors.

You can get more accuracy from a weekend weatherman about a 10-day forecast than you can from looking at life in the mirror.

If hindsight is 20/20, why do historians always argue?

If hindsight is 20/20, why do two people in conflict always tell two completely different stories?  (And tell two more a week later?)

If hindsight is 20/20, why does the same event speak to you completely differently from the perspective of a day, a week, a month, a year, or a generation?

If hindsight is 20/20, why does God repeatedly have to remind the children of Israel about their rescue from Egypt and the whole Red Sea episode?  I’ll tell you why.  [click to continue…]

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