As I have mentioned on more than one occasion, I was blessed to have a father who actually wanted to be a dad and inspired me to want to be one. I’m even more blessed to have three adult children who also wanted to be parents. This video was my son’s beautiful way of expressing that, and I wanted you to see it. It’s only two minutes long, but I think you’ll agree it’s worth the time. (If you’re seeing this on the email or RSS feed, you may have to click on a link either to the embedded video or to the post title).
I have included his script below. [click to continue…]
Robin and Gift
It was a fairly eclectic group gathered around the dining room table Saturday night. A combination of old friends and acquaintances, family, and a special friend who had literally traveled around the world to be here.
All eyes were on our Thai friend Gift, who had come from Bangkok with her son Dift to stay with us for four weeks. She was sharing with those who came to her “welcoming party” about the dream she had to establish an export business.
The goal: to support her husband Dui’s ministry among the three distinct congregations, Bible study groups and the additional pastor training ministry he has established. Also to give Thai women an opportunity to earn a living in keeping with their considerable work ethic and skill.
Gift designs exquisite jewelry and has a growing team of Thai women who are able to make her designs by hand using certified-authentic gemstones from China and other places.
After sharing her brief story and dream, Gift’s focus changed to address my father-in-law, who was seated at the table with us. He had left Thailand with his family when Dui was just two years old and Gift was one. Though he hasn’t lived there since 1974, because of his frequent returns and ongoing relationships, he remains a hero there to this day. And that was the word – hero – that Gift used to describe how she and her husband saw Dr. Willis.
“We pray that we can have the same…” Gift was saying, and she paused, looking to no avail for the right English word. Finally, all she could do is say it in Thai.
“How do you say, gam-lang jai?” [click to continue…]
We live in a disposable culture. “Old” has been redefined by phone companies in terms of seconds, and kommitment has been karikatured by kertain kelebrities as a multimillion-dollar hoax. And in a culture where the official religion is the Church of Relative Truth, disposing of beliefs or vows is old news.
Science has made recycling possible, but we’ve taken the plunge with some things – and people – that never should have been “cycled” in the first place. It’s one thing to recycle McDonald’s napkins; recycling children is another story. And some people recycle relationships with little more care than they might recycle motor oil or a milk jug.
Of course, some things should be disposed of, either because they’ve satisfied their purpose or because they hinder our growth and progress. Henry Cloud, in his must-read book Necessary Endings, says,
“Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.”
We can’t be free to let go, however, until we have some clear life anchors – those beliefs, relationships, and commitments that keep us grounded and pointed in the right direction. Simply put, there are some things you should never let go of. The question is, how do you know what to throw away and what to keep? What’s the difference between a relationship or belief that serves as an anchor and one that is more like a ball-and-chain?
Here’s where I would start in your search for life anchors: [click to continue…]
He was quite the lover of the chase, this man, I think in England. He loved the sound of the baying hounds as they echoed through the woods – sometimes far away, sometimes close by.
One morning he rose early to that splendid sound… 20 deer hounds or so, baying wildly in pursuit of their target.
Looking out toward a broad, open field in front of him, the man saw a young deer – a fawn – making its way across.
Exhausted.
Afraid.
At the end of its strength. [click to continue…]
Heart Reef - Part of the Great Barrier Reef, Queensland, Australia
Earl Nightingale once told of a visit he made with his son to the Great Barrier Reef, which stretches nearly 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. On the trip he noticed that the coral polyps on the inside of the reef, where the sea was peaceful and quiet in the lagoon, seemed pale and lifeless. On the other hand, the coral on the outside of the reef, beneath the surge of the tide and power of the waves, were bright and vibrant with color and flowing growth. Mr. Nightingale asked his guide why this was so.
“It’s very simple,” came the reply. “The coral on the lagoon side dies rapidly because it has no challenge for growth and survival. The coral facing the surge and power of the open sea thrives and multiplies because it is challenged and tested every day. And so it is with every living organism on earth.”
And so it is with us!
I wish I could tell you that because you are a Christian you are promised a stress-free, test-free life. But you and I both know that simply isn’t true. [click to continue…]
Got caught in my underwear last week.
Not literally – you can exhale and imagine something less disturbing. But what I experienced was on a similar emotional and mental level.
It’s been a c-r-a-z-y season time-wise for me for about the last month. I generally stay pretty busy, but this was my version of silly season – the time demands were beyond ridiculous. And under that kind of stress, I tend focus on what I do well and throw everything else into automatic pilot.
Probably not a good plan. In fact, not much of a plan at all – I was pretty much in survival mode. And so, in the process of focusing on what absolutely had to be done and what I’m good at, I dropped my guard over my weaknesses. And boy did they show up in some embarrassing ways.
Weaknesses are like underwear. We all have them but most of us would prefer not to expose them to the world. And we spend quite a bit of energy or money covering them up. [click to continue…]
Yes, this is me mocking my grandson. Or maybe Cason's mocking me. Hmmm.
Tucked away in the third stanza of a familiar hymn, Fannie Crosby penned these lines that were years ahead of her time:
Down in the human heart, Crushed by the tempter,
Feelings lie buried that grace can restore.
Except for the grace of God, every single one of us will go to our graves feeling guilty about our feelings. Can you relate to any of these?
- “I didn’t love my mother enough.”
- “I hate my father.”
- “I don’t like being a mother.”
- “I will never forgive her as long as I live.”
- “I love one of my children more than the other.”
- “Why can’t he just die?”
One person has said, “Emotions are what we have the most of, and know the least about.” One of the longest, and most frustrating searches that many people have is why do I feel the way I feel, and what can I do about it?
On the other hand, some people (stupidly) dismiss all that and passively allow themselves to be led around by their feelings as if they are helpless to do anything about them. Ever hear something like this? [click to continue…]
There’s a well-known philosophy in some leadership circles that leaders never admit their mistakes. This being an election year, you can expect to see that in full force.
The problem with that philosophy is that being in a position of leadership – formally or informally – puts you out in front of people where they can see your mistakes loud ’n’ clear. So when you pretend you don’t have any, you look worse than proud. You look rather stupid.
The biggest issue with mistakes in leadership is not whether you make them, but whether you repeat them. Show me a politician, a corporate executive, a pastor, or any other form of “leader” who dodges the issue of failures, I’ll show you a leader destined to repeat the same mistakes.
On the other hand, if it’s true that being a leader means being “first learner,” then one of the best places to start is with your own lessons learned the hard way. Here are 10 lessons I learned by getting it wrong before I ever got it right: [click to continue…]
It’s dandelion season again. Truth be told, in some places and hearts, they never go out of season. And here this year, for some reason, they’re back with an attitude. Deep roots that say, “I’m here to stay.” Those big, ugly leaves that just invite themselves to your next salad. The bright yellow blooming heralds of spring. And of course, the seed head that remains the fascination of children of all ages and life stages.
Here’s a cure for all kinds of blues and blahs: The next time you see a dandelion in all its glory, pick it up and free those windborne seeds to sail into the breeze. So what if you’re holding a briefcase, wearing a business suit, and late for a really important meeting? Let it fly! I don’t care if you’re still snared by the pursuit of an immaculate lawn. Pull the roots if you must – but be a kid again for a few seconds in the process.
You see, dandelions are God’s version of a helium balloon or a birthday candle. [click to continue…]
It’s a common subject of conversation I’ve had with countless people.
If you’re ever more than toe-deep in Church World, eventually the conversation will make its way to the pastor of whatever church.
Your pastor.
My pastor.
You-the-pastor.
He the pastor-wannabe.
And so it goes…
- I don’t like my pastor.
- I love my pastor.
- My pastor’s a jerk.
- I’m not getting fed by my pastor.
- My pastor just resigned.
- I wish my pastor would resign.
- We’re looking for a new pastor.
- We have a new pastor coming.
- My pastor can’t preach.
- My pastor isn’t very organized.
- My pastor left under a cloud of suspicion.
Hey, I get it. I’ve been on both ends of those conversations and have had all of that and more said about me, and often for good reason. People a lot smarter than I am have done quite a bit of research about members of the clergy, and they have made some startling discoveries. Care to guess what the most shocking of them all is? [click to continue…]
