It takes time and intention, this Soul-Anchoring Moment,
And a willingness to wait for those fleeting experiences
That are tomorrow’s soul roots.
(Did I mention a willingness to wait?)
A Soul-Anchoring Moment…
Maybe it’s the possibility of holding all of your scattered grandchildren in one day.
Or a chance to hear again the sounds common to your birthplace
And sigh with satisfaction at the most trivial and most special of memories. [click to continue…]
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(From the forthcoming book, Coach Lightning)
(Note: Anybody can be an influence to people sitting right in front of them. But it takes a special kind of character to continue to shape lives you first touched 50 years ago. The following is an excerpt about the way Morris Brown did that, and how his influence lives on to this day. You can see other excerpts here and here.)
Benjamin Disraeli, the British statesman, once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” That’s what you discover when you talk to the people whose lives were touched by Morris Brown. You hear the language of wealthy people. And they’ll tell you that Coach Brown was instrumental in revealing their riches to them.
One of the greatest contributions any leader, teacher, or friend can make in terms of influence is to “raise the bar” in the pursuit of excellence. Morris did that time and time again. Don Hunt calls him a “beacon in my heart and soul” to this day. From the days of Little League baseball until today, Don says, Coach Brown’s life and actions remind him to strive to be the best person that he can be.
It’s interesting to note that in all the conversations or interviews about Coach Brown’s influence, nobody went to a chalkboard and started drawing the X’s and O’s of a football locker room. Morris influenced players and students by first influencing them as people. As he helped raise up a generation of excellent people, the on-field or on-court play took care of itself. [click to continue…]
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Remember when you wanted that whatever-it-was from Santa Claus? Or your employer? Or your spouse or parents or educators or whoever… only to get it and be disappointed?
Remember when you thought, “If I could just make this amount of money, I would be content?” And you did… and you weren’t?
Remember the time you dreamed and dreamed and dreamed some more about a meaningful goal and were disappointed? But it didn’t keep you from dreaming some more?
Remember when you didn’t have your health or didn’t have any money or didn’t have anybody and it was all you could think about? Then when health or wealth or somebody showed up, it only served to point out something else you don’t have – and now all you think about is that?
All these and more are examples of something that stirs us, motivates us, alarms us or moves us in a certain direction, but never quite allows us to rest once we get where we think we’re going.
I’m talking about your Driving Force, and yes, you have one. Maybe more than one. [click to continue…]
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Who is the shyest person you know? Picture them in your mind. Got it? Good. Now…
Imagine that person at the end of his or her life. And sometime just before they kiss this world good-bye they’re the guest of honor at the most amazing invitation-only celebration. This party is reserved for those whose life has somehow been touched – influenced – by Shy Guy himself.
Care to hazard a guess how many names are on the invitation list?
Ten thousand. A myriad. Ten thousand people whose lives are influenced by the most reserved, quiet girl or guy you know.
That’s nothing compared to the lives that have been impacted by bubbly ol’ you. And this isn’t about somebody else’s influence. It’s about yours.
This is about your myriad. Or in your case, perhaps your million. It’s about all the people who make decisions because of you. Who make changes because of you. Who establish relationships, try something new, dig deeper, grow wiser, or go farther because of your influence. Or, it’s about the people who grow hard-hearted, discouraged, dispirited, or fearful because you showed them how.
Somebody’s watching. Somebody’s doing. Somebody’s believing. Somebody’s changing. And they all have you to thank. [click to continue…]
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“I’ve found it!”
I looked up from my desk to see the beaming face of Eugene Davis, my favorite sophomore Christian. Eugene had been following Christ less than two years, but had shown considerable growth during that period.
Trouble was, he knew it.
His zeal for new knowledge was refreshing. But his impatience with others and the seriousness with which he took himself could be annoying.
“Must be another evangelism gimmick,” I thought to myself as I asked politely, “Found what?”
“I’ve found THE sign of a good parent.”
Now I had learned not to be surprised at anything that came from Eugene’s mind, and since I had recently started teaching a class in effective parenting, he succeeded in getting my attention. I thought I had heard them all – unconditional love, “I messages,” eye contact, firm discipline, etc. – but no conference or seminary class had ever prepared me for this. [click to continue…]
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One of Friday's Lovely Moments -Cohen's first haircut, and I got to BE the front-row seat.
Nobody has to convince you that life is busy and blazes by at the speed of, well, life. Expressions like, “Where did all the time go?” are the stuff of every-day conversation.
Sometimes that can feel painfully lonely as we emerge from the grindstone and wonder where everybody went.
Sometimes that can feel out of control as we are swept away by the rhythm and melody of somebody else’s music.
And yet…
And yet…
Even in the craziness, the busyness, and the where’d-it-all-go, life has a way of presenting what Roger Breland calls a Lovely Moment – those experiences where even if for a brief pause, life seems to come up for air and fill your heart.
Sometimes the Lovely Moment arrives in the form of a long-anticipated event, like your wedding day, graduation, or the birth of a child or grandchild.
Sometimes the Lovely Moment comes as a complete surprise, when suddenly you realize how full your heart is because of a special memory, a future conversation played out in your mind, the joyful news of a friend, or a reminder somehow that you’re being thought of.
The Lovely Moment can be an elusive thing, but only because we’re too busy, too wounded, too stressed, or too blinded to open our eyes and see them. The truth is, Lovely Moments are in abundant supply… [click to continue…]
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Okay, so try this. Let’s take a little mental inventory. Go back to the twilight of your thinking last night – that mental place where you drift between the time you close your eyes and the time you actually go to sleep. (I can tell you mine, but I’m saving it for a future blog post… watch for something called the “three A’s.”)
Or… how about the first line of thinking out of the mental gate this morning – that place where your mind went before you got out of bed?
Was it something to do?
Something you were worried about?
Some pressure, or pain? Or some pleasure or something/someone you were grateful for?
Was it a longing, or an idea? Or a feeling of dread?
Recapture that thought or line of thinking for a minute… then go behind it… and look for the desire. Based on your thinking, mentally complete this sentence: “I want to _____________.”
It could be something you want to feel.
Could be something you want to accomplish.
Could be something you want to experience.
Could be somebody you want to connect with, serve, or resolve an issue with.
Got it yet? Okay, let’s dig a little deeper. [click to continue…]
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(Time Leadership, Part 2)
What kept Jesus on the cross?
That’s been the subject of many a sermon or song. And the answer is always the same, ranging somewhere between the ugliness of our sin and the beauty of His love.
You know He could have come down, don’t you? When He was mocked and taunted, Jesus could have called a legion of angels and put an end to the whole shebang.
But He didn’t. So what kept Him there?
Hint: the answer to the question is not, “love.” [click to continue…]
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You can accomplish every task set before you, live your life as a model of get-it-doneness, and die with a clean desk… and a completely unfulfilled life.
It’s possible to check off every box on your to-do list today, yet go to sleep tonight completely joyless… only to do it all over again tomorrow.
You may be the one everybody calls for help with prioritizing, streamlining, simplifying and ordering, only for your phone to grow cold when it’s hang-out time.
I think I may have found the problem… and the solution.
Get out of time management.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit too strong. Let me try again… Don’t just manage your time. Lead it.
There’s a huge difference between the two. [click to continue…]
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It was one of those eye-opening days, I guess. Back to school time for me. I was living north of Dallas, and still involved in youth ministry. I taught a Monday night Bible Study that served as the centerpiece of the ministry, and on this particular night I passed out blank paper with a special request: List, in order, the five things it would take to make you perfectly happy.
How would you answer that?
I really thought I knew what the answers would be – a lot of selfish stuff like cars, a driver’s license, money, or popularity. But what I heard taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. Here are some of their actual answers: [click to continue…]
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