Awards season is in full swing. The Golden Globes, Grammys, and Emmys are history. The Oscars are approaching. That can only mean one thing:
Michael Minutoli is probably close by.
Michael Minutoli is a party crasher, and without a doubt one of the best. For more than 15 years, this man has boldly gone where few of us would dare, and he never had a ticket. You could find him at movie premiers, awards programs, concerts, and backstage parties. Have tux, will travel.
He moves with such congruence, he blends right in. And he has the pictures to prove it – more than a thousand of them. You can find disposable camera prints of Michael with his arm around the likes of Harrison Ford, Katie Couric, Britney Spears, Paul McCartney, Dustin Hoffman, Tom Hanks, President Bill Clinton, Jack Nicholson, Sean Connery, Madonna, and Bruce Willis. Just to name a few.
And boy, does he have stories to tell. [click to continue…]
Imagine the looks and the laughs. You’re a servant – socially, a nobody. You own no property, have little-to-no money. On a busy city sidewalk, you are nameless and faceless.
And yet here you are, in the local real estate office, looking for investment properties.
Or maybe sitting around the local JerusaBucks, sipping on a latte and asking some of the locals about business opportunities or stock market preferences.
You’re a legend in your own mind. But if anyone knew you, they’d laugh you out the door.
Version 2.0
Imagine the awkwardness and anguish. You’re a servant – socially a nobody. You own no property, have little-to-no money. On a busy city sidewalk… well, you get it.
And yet here you are, being asked by the most powerful man you know, to look out for part of his money – more money than you’ve ever seen, much less ever held in your hand.
Echoes of your parents’ proverbs still ring in your ear – stuff like, “A fool and his money are soon parted.”
Can’t he find someone else for the job? This is risky business, and you’re no risk taker.
Isn’t there some hole somewhere…?
Above Your Pay Grade?
How do you handle assignments that are, in the words of the president-elect, “above your pay grade?” [click to continue…]
mudtrap.com
It was only a matter of time before something as festive and holy as Christmas brought out the fun side in all of us. And every year has its own version. Here’s a little Monday Christmas fun, Hanukkah Ham style:
Our friend Tim Hawkins, of Cletus Take the Reel fame, sends this Christmas Greeting. Click here then click on “The Christmas Puppy.”
Jacked-up Christmas Lyrics
A couple of weeks ago I was researching for a Christmas message titled “Jacked Up” about the crazy ideas and expectations people have around the holidays (you can hear it here: here).
I came across several web sites and blogs that talk about jacked-up lines in Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites:
1. In 1964 the Beach Boys released a song called, “Christmas Comes This Time of Year.” That’s helpful! Deep, too. Sort of like saying, “Monday comes this time of week.”
2. Andy Williams, among others, is famous for the song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” A line in that song says,
“There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories….”
Whoa, there, AW. How many people do you know that tuck their little kids in bed on Christmas Eve and tell them tales of bleeding holly, haunted sleighs, or demon-possessed reindeer? Now go on to sleep kids! [click to continue…]
Okay, all you fans of the amazing possibilities of humans left to their own ideas, it’s time for another edition of Hanukkah Hams! In case you missed previous episodes, a Hanukkah Ham was named after this, uh, “creative” marketing idea last year.
With all the gloom, doom, and sleepless nights about the economy, I thought maybe we could use a little financial inspiration.
Couldn’t find any, so this is what you get instead…
One of the fundamental truths of the New Testament is that money is “coined personality.” That is, people can see the “real you” in the ways you respond to and handle money. If you’re generous with your finances, you’ll be generous with other parts of your life as well. Same is true if you’re careless, stingy, unorganized, etc. This raises some interesting questions about some or organizations. If money is coined personality, we may have a few problems!
A couple of years ago, I walked into a local bank, started writing a check, and told the teller in my best deadpan voice that I needed $30 worth of Federal Reserve notes. He actually asked another teller, “Do we have Federal Reserve notes here?” “Ya mean, money?” she asked.
Last month a man in Warren, Michigan figured the best way to get a little extra cash for the holidays was to strong arm somebody and steal theirs. [click to continue…]
(A Turning Point Story)
Pam was 15 and pregnant. Somehow, in the wake of some poor choices, however, she made a good one. Pam decided not to get an abortion, and a young man – an all-star outfielder in his high school – lives today because of that decision. But Pam’s decision was costly, because her family didn’t approve. Pam needed a place to go. So at a time when our own children were four and two, Pregnant Pam came to live with us.
We helped arrange a private adoption, and the time came for Pam’s baby to be born. Robin was committed to walking with Pam through all of this, so she stayed at the hospital with her, and I kept the little ones at home. Having been through all of this together, the kids and I were excited about seeing Pam’s baby. So we planned a little trek up to Medical Center East in Birmingham.
Being something of a hospital veteran, I decided on this Saturday to go in through the Emergency Room. I herded my little brood through the waiting room, through the double doors, and into the elevator. After a delightful visit, we reversed the process – into the elevator, back through the double doors, breezing through the ER waiting room. The kids were walking ahead of me, self-assured and chattering away. They marched through the exit doors and started down the sidewalk toward the car.
[click to continue…]
Some things should just be obvious.
Coffee cup contents are hot.
Sleeping pills may cause drowsiness.
People with peanut allergies shouldn’t open a bag or jar with the word “peanut” on it.
Microwave ovens aren’t designed to dry wet pets.
Silly Putty shouldn’t be used as ear plugs.
Unfortunately, what’s obvious to most, passes right by the VOMOS club (and we’ve all had a membership card in that one at some time).
And before you think somebody’s nuts for stating the obvious, remember, this is America. We sue people here. Shamelessly. Once they dislodge the pointed fence from our colon.
(VOMOS – “Victim of my own stupidity”)
(Photo by aikisenshi)
“Bruce likes to terrify himself.” So began a story years ago in Success magazine.
One day Bruce led some friends 9,000 feet up Mount Hood, and decided to show them how much fun it would be to slide down part of the way. While zipping down an ice field at 30 miles an hour, Bruce suddenly realized he had forgotten to remove his crampons – the spikes that attach to hiking boots. His feet were useless as brakes.
Uh oh.
Bruce had the presence of mind to realize that jabbing the spikes at the ice whizzing past him wouldn’t work either – that would risk breaking his ankles and hurtling off the side of the mountain. So as the edge of the cliff came rapidly into view, Bruce flopped over on his stomach and jabbed repeatedly, frantically, with his ice axe. He finally came to a halt about 50 feet from the edge of the cliff. He later said that the thing that kept running through his mind as he got closer and closer to the edge was, “Boy, this is a stupid way to die.”
Uh huh.
Oh, and just a thought – if it’s a stupid way to die, then maybe it’s a stupid way to live. But hey, that’s just me.
I don’t know if Bruce ever went ice surfing again. And for all I know, he may be the ultimate LifeVestor. But on this day, he was a gambler.
[click to continue…]
In my previous post, I told the story of a rainy head-on collision between a bicycle and a car – and I was on the bicycle. Here are some lessons I have learned or been reminded of since.
The Christian life isn’t a joyride in the rain, but a war. If that analogy offends you, or if you’ve never experienced life on the battlefield, chances are you have never taken your relationship with Christ very seriously. This war we are engaged in is one we’re destined to win. The Lord Jesus has conquered sin, death, and the devil, and those of us who belong to Him are heirs of that purchased victory. But until He comes again, you face the realities of spiritual warfare on a daily basis. In your struggle against the forces of the world, the flesh, and the devil, you will find no peace talks, no negotiations, no cease-fire orders. You’re in it for the duration.
[click to continue…]
(A Turning Point Story)
What do you do when you encounter somebody who’s made a wreck of his or her life? What do you do when that that wreck of a life shows up in your place of worship? What do you do when YOU are the wreck?
The closest I ever came to having a horse was a 1964 Ford Tractor at my granddaddy’s, and a ten-speed bicycle I got for Christmas my ninth grade year in school. I put miles – miles – on that bike.
Now, years later, it leaned against the wall in my dad’s workshop in disrepair. But for some strange reason, Daddy and I were inspired, and decided to get it going again. A brand new front tire, new tubes, adjustments to the brakes, handlebars and seat – only one thing was missing. Our hand pump wasn’t strong enough to inflate the tires completely. So we pumped them up as much as possible, and decided to take the bike to a nearby service station to finish the job. We had to hurry, though, to outrun one of those afternoon thundershowers so common in Mobile during the summer. We took the short cut through the woods behind the house – I on my old trusty-rusty steed and my dad on my sister’s three-speed. We emerged behind a shopping center near the service station, only to be greeted by a sudden downpour.
So we waited.
It was frustrating to sit there, pinned in by the rain with our destination in sight. So when the shower let up a little, we decided to make a mad dash for it. We had a plan, sort of. We’d go across the parking lot, behind the Seven-Eleven store, through the little alley, to the Texaco station. Once we go the tires pumped up, we’d figure it out from there.
Off we flew! Across the parking lot. Around the back corner of the Seven-Eleven.
Just one problem.
[click to continue…]
Okay, surely this is just a coincidence.