I’m going to ask you a series of “first impression” questions. The goal is to have a good answer without thinking or analyzing too much.
If things like this make you anxious, relax. You’re in complete control here.
You may want to really put some legs under this exercise by writing down your answers somewhere.
Okay, ready? Give your first answer to the following questions. [click to continue…]
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Some of the most profound lessons in life can only be discovered face down in a proverbial ditch. And that’s where I found myself about 25 years ago. My career was crumbling. My family life was devastated. Whatever influence I had was waning quickly. My dreams were being shattered. I was a complete failure privately, and was about to be exposed as one publicly. And for the moment, it was right where God wanted me to be.
There as life was crashing in all around me, I asked the Lord one of the most life-changing questions I could have asked, and He was gracious enough to give me an answer.
How did I wind up here?
The Lord showed me three things – three huge, blinding, colossal choices or habits that set me up for a trip to the ditch. The first I’ve already covered here – I allowed myself to get discouraged in one area of my life, and soon discouragement spread like spiritual cancer.
Here is the second. I read it on the 18th of the month – I know this because it was in Proverbs 18. But reading it was like reading a lab report on the condition of my heart.
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment (Proverbs 18:1, NKJ)
At first blush it was obvious what that meant. I was a pastor. I was a public figure who made my living with words and relationships and eternal truths. I was “on” 24/7, or so I thought. So I gave every effort to play the part. I smiled pastor smiles. I prayed pastor prayers. I said pastor things. And when people asked me how I was doing, I gave pastor replies. “Good!” I would say, smiling.
I never told anybody otherwise.
I never shared what my biggest, most challenging obstacles were. I never shared the depths of what my dreams were, either for myself or for the church. I never told anybody I had gotten discouraged. I never asked for wisdom or help. I was a professional problem solver. I was supposed to be the solution to other people’s problems and the complete solution to my own… all the while presenting a front and leaving an impression that all was well.
The only way to pull all this off was to isolate myself. I even had a name for it – I called it “transparency to a point.” I would let people see and hear enough to believe I was being open and honest, but wouldn’t tell them too much.
Why? Pride, for sure, but that’s the third answer to the question… more on that later. Why isolate, then? Because I didn’t want people advising me to do what I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to ask for anybody else’s help to succeed. And I didn’t want to expose my life and work to somebody else’s opinion, wisdom, or direction.
In short, I isolated myself, and I was an idiot to do so. I would caution you against the same mistake. [click to continue…]
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I’ve received just under 10,000 calls, texts, or emails over the last few weeks, all wanting to know the same thing: How’s the little sequoia tree doing?
So rather than answer it both all of them at once, I thought I’d give you an update here.
It’s ugly. [click to continue…]
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Hop on the Hypothetical Bus with me for just a minute. Let’s take a ride.
Let’s assume that as far as you know you’ve been doing everything you know to do correctly.
Yet despite all the good things you’re doing and the faith and expectations you’ve been exercising, you just checked the scoreboard and,
Uh oh…
Your life is something like that mean football cheer:
Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon rind!
Look at the scoreboard and see who’s behind…
You!
What do you do when the news should be good, but it’s discouraging instead? [click to continue…]
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In an old strip from “Bloom County” back in the early 80s, Opus, the beloved big-nosed penguin, is sitting at a bus stop with a Polish guy, a black guy, a white guy, an old lady and a midget (um, vertically challenged person)…
Black Guy (to Opus): Ya know… you penguin types offend me.
White Guy: Hey… I’ll tell ya what offends me… dirty words, that’s what!
Polish Guy: Polish jokes offend me.
Black Guy: Stereotypes offend ME.
Old Lady: TV sex offends me!
White Guy: LOOK! That sign is offensive!!
Midget: I made that sign and I’m offended!
Polish Guy (to Black Guy): Frankly sir, you offend me.
Black Guy: Well! I’m offended at your offense.
Old Lady: Those nudes offend my womanhood!
White Guy: Those gays offend my manhood!
Midget: This comic offends my offensiveness!
All: MY GOSH… LIFE IS OFFENSIVE!! AAAAAIGH! (they all run away, leaving Opus sitting at the bus stop)
Opus: Offensensitivity.
Have you checked your offensensitivity levels lately? Some days it just seems that all of life is offensive. And other days, well, maybe we have enough grace to let a few people be completely wrong. This just in from Serenah:
I have just read your put your stingers up piece and it was helpful. But how do you put your stingers up permanently when you are in a situation you can’t remove yourself from? I know God is trying to teach me to let go of defensiveness but I don’t know how?
Fair question. How do you drop your guard when every day feels like a march into the enemy’s camp? Here are a couple of thoughts on the fly, but thoughts worth taking a look at. Offensensitivity is the result of three overlapping things: Fear, Framing, and False Beliefs. [click to continue…]
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President Woodrow Wilson once said, “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forgot the errand.”
Have you forgotten the errand lately? Maybe it’s time for a look under the hood.
At least it is for me. And maybe for you, too.
I’m involved in some pretty big initiatives lately (you’ll be seeing more of that soon). And those initiatives are added to an already-very-busy life. Never a day goes by when I don’t lay my head on the pillow with plenty more to do tomorrow that I left undone today. Most days I’m fine with that. But lately in the middle of all the time and resource challenges I’ve found myself frustrated, more tired than I should be, and actually feeling anxious about some things that should have me feeling excited and hopeful. And in the middle it all is this nagging question:
Is this really what I’m about?
That brings me back to something I’ve been pretty passionate about for a long time – a clearly-defined sense of personal mission or purpose. [click to continue…]
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There’s a house in my neighborhood. Beautiful place. Well built and spacious. And for the last two years, completely empty.
Not for sale. We have some of those, too, complete with yard signs and open houses.
Not in foreclosure. None of those stickers on the window with the bold letters NOTICE at the top.
No, this home – this beautiful home – is paid for (or being paid for). Ready for move-in. But for reasons I do not know, it sits completely empty.
I’ve been thinking about that house lately. I’m sure the owner has his reasons. But it sure seems sad that something built to provide a lot of comfort and satisfaction fails to fulfill its purpose as it sits, unoccupied. Hey, even the mail addressed to “current occupant” has nowhere to go. [click to continue…]
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How many times have you said it? Or heard somebody else mouth something like this…?
I just want to do God’s will.
I wish I knew what God wanted me to do.
How can I find the will of God for my life?
Tell me how this is supposed to fit into a grand plan!
I want to do God’s will, but I’m wired to lead. Is that wrong?
I know God has a plan in all this, but for the life of me I can’t see it.
I’m willing to follow Jesus, but how can I know how it all will turn out?
I did what I thought was God’s will and instead of feeling joyful it felt terrible… instead of everything working out, it all looked like a failure.
How do I know that if I surrender my life to God’s will He won’t make me be a missionary somewhere in a place with lots of mosquitos or cannibals or something?
Ever since Jesus Christ burst onto the scene and called those fishermen to follow Him, those who have chosen to say yes have discovered the mystery and marvel of finding and fulfilling the will of the God of the Universe. And make no mistake about it… God wants you to know His will. But He also wants you to develop the spiritual muscles necessary to discern it. Check this out: [click to continue…]
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It’s hard for Alex to force himself to go to work these days. The honeymoon there is way past over, and the only reason he shows up now is a paycheck. He compares himself to others who have gone way too long without any job, and feels guilty for complaining. But this work situation is starting to affect his health, his relationships, and his confidence. He’s been looking, but no other possibilities have presented themselves.
What does Alex do? Does he endure or does he walk away? Does he press on, or does he “step out in faith” in search of new opportunities?
Tyler and Jennifer have reached a similar decision, not about work, but about the church they attend. The congregation has been hit hard with splits, neighborhood transition, and pastoral changes. They have been a part of this fellowship since they married, and have faithfully served. But they have moved to another neighborhood themselves, and it feels harder and harder to go back to what feels like a sinking ship.
What do they do? Is this a time to be “steadfast, immovable,” and all that? Or is it a time to “mount up with wings as eagles” and fly away?
(Yeah, you can make the Bible say just about anything you want it to in cases like this.)
These kinds of questions are common for any believer… [click to continue…]
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One day you’re going to use the same technique for praying that you have seen God respond to time and time again. But your prayer won’t get what you consider a positive response.
One day you’re going to claim that healing, rebuke that sickness, or do whatever you’ve done repeatedly to see the Lord respond in situations like that. But he healing won’t be coming. At least not the way you believed it would come.
One day you’re going to repeat the same steps or process you have used dozens of times before and seen genuine fruit or progress in your personal life or ministry. But this time it’s going to come up a bust.
One day you’re going to turn to your pet theology (excuse me… I mean your belief system), where things have made sense and given you wisdom, insight, and clarity for years. But this time your pet theology will have no answers.
And let me go ahead and cut to the chase – all of this is deliberate, and it’s God’s idea. [click to continue…]
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