I know a guy named Garrett who has completely changed my impression of him in a matter of a couple of years. When I first met him, he came across as a slacker – lazy, unmotivated, and a pretty bad student. But the last time I saw him he had rewritten his story – at least the one that played out in my head. Truth is, Garrett is sharp, actually quite brilliant as a communicator, and a potential world changer.
What made the difference?
Time. Perspective. A little experience. In Garrett’s case, he never stopped anything or changed anything. I just had more time to get to know what he was capable of. The one who needed changing was me.
Sarah and Ben were a different case. [click to continue…]
This just in: God wants your joy to be full.
I know, I know! It shocked me, too!
I was having coffee with a friend a few years ago and he mentioned a quote from Jesus: “Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full” (John 16:24).
“God wants your joy to be full,” my friend said prophetically. That resonated with me. Deeply.
“I’ve had many joyful moments,” I confessed, “but I can’t tell you when the last time was I had joy on that level.”
How about you? When was the last time you experienced a joy so deep you could barely contain it?
I’m talking about something that Nehemiah says is your strength – this joy of the Lord. It’s the result of a supernatural exchange, according to Isaiah’s prophecy. The Spirit of God anointed Jesus to exchange your mourning and ashes for beauty and joy. Jesus later told his disciples that they would mourn at his death, but that their mourning would be turned to joy when they saw him again. And, as they asked in his name, they would receive, and their joy would be full.
So… just to make this clear… [click to continue…]
Have you ever been in a situation where somebody hated you just for showing up? Maybe you did something really stupid or offensive. Maybe they hate everybody who shows up. Maybe they’re picking up somebody else’s offense or acting out long-held prejudices. Regardless of what set it off, the bottom line is, they don’t like you.
And what’s not to like, right?
Everybody with any intelligence can see how awesome you are. And yet some arrogant bozo (or bozette) won’t give you the time of day. Or worse, is outwardly hostile.
What do you do?
Do you out-hostile them? Or practice your own version of the Cold War?
Do you fire up your iPod with your favorite Willie Whiner and His All-Reject Orchestra tunes and have a pity party?
Do you ask God to whup ‘em or smite ‘em?
Or do you use this as an occasion to facilitate growth, understanding, renewal, and – dare I say it? – respect and friendship? [click to continue…]
Here comes Ed.
Here comes bad news.
Have you ever had anybody like that in your life? They love you. They’re for you. But no news is good news. And if you ever see them coming, something’s wrong. Somebody’s complaining. Somebody’s offended. Somebody’s angry. And they’re coming by to help.
Ed was that kind of guy. I once told him, “Ed, just once when you come by, let me know I’m doing something right.”
Never happened.
That said, Ed taught me a couple of very valuable lessons, one of which I repeat regularly to this day. It’s the lesson about the stinger. [click to continue…]
I think I may have found the key to happiness, success, power, and the life you’ve always wanted. I’m not sure how I lived so long without recognizing it; from the looks of things, quite a few people have already figured it out. In fact, you may already be ahead of me on this.
The secret? Be completely in control of every aspect of your life and world.
There you have it. The results will speak for themselves.
No longer do you have to put up with displeasing people – you now will control them. No longer will you-know-who resist your wise ideas, visionary leadership, or impressive communication. You’re in charge. Say good-bye to disappointment, discouragement, rejection, financial pressure, TSA agents, time-wasting meetings, and even those unsightly blemishes.
In fact, research conducted through a grant from the Lifevesting Institute of Advanced Relationship Studies (LIARS for short) suggests that there are at least 12 strategies through which people ascend to such an advanced state of life ownership. Any one of these can take you to new heights. But when you combine these paths, the outcomes are staggering.
Well, somebody’s staggering, anyway.
Here are twelve pathways – twelve roles you can assume to take you to a state of Ultimate Grip Hold (UGH) on life – the last stage before the designation of Master of the Universe. If one doesn’t work for you, feel free to substitute for another. Or mix and match, if you like. [click to continue…]
Bryce is a prisoner in his own home. His really nice home with the pool, three-car garage, RV parking, and more bathrooms than family members. His “friends” are (too) curious about his life and trappings, like something of a bad sequel to The Great Gatsby. And despite his material success, Bryce remains restless, empty, and hungry for that One Honest Touch.
Tony is a prisoner in his own accomplishments. A hyper-achiever, he lives in a world of “What mountain have you climbed lately?” Last year’s exploits are old news to a bored world, many of whom live vicariously through Tony’s courage and imagination. Inwardly terrified to admit he’s just as bored and scared as they are, Tony longs for that One Honest Touch.
Madison is a prisoner in her own skin. Always a head turner looks-wise, for as long as she can remember, Maddie’s life has been revolving door of one vain relationship after another. Superficial. Super-physical. Super-lonely. Her striking beauty has always ensured her all the attention she could ever ask for. But it never has given her what her heart cries out for most – that One Honest Touch.
Deep Connection
All of us were created with a capacity, and need for, deep connection. A Touch. And our spirits never rest until we have it. [click to continue…]
When it comes to relationships, are you a builder or a buster? I’ve known both, and I’m sure you have, too.
Relationship builders are liked. Respected. Trusted. They believe in the deep, abiding value of relationships with others, and invest their lives in nurturing them. But they also seem to go about relationship building in an almost-effortless way.
Relationship busters are different. They may get along with anybody for a season, but sooner or later their relationships tend to blow up or fall apart. Or they live in constant relationship drama.
One of the things I have learned about relationships is that a large part of them are an inside job. That is, there is a difference between the way builders and busters think. And whatever controls your thinking right now establishes the course of your relationships for a long time.
In his letter to the Colossians, Paul writes from a Roman prison and encourages them to engage in linking thinking: [click to continue…]
I believe that it is not dying that people are afraid of. Something else, something more unsettling and more tragic than dying frightens us. We are afraid of never having lived, of coming to the end of our days with the sense that we were never really alive, that we never figured out what life was for. – Harold Kushner
The great Presbyterian pastor Donald Grey Barnhouse was once riding in a funeral procession in Philadelphia when he noticed a large cargo truck running in front of the procession. From the way the sun was positioned, he noticed that the truck was casting a large shadow on the sidewalk. That shadow crossed light poles, road signs, and even people, and didn’t harm anything. No one would want to be in front of the truck, mind you, but the shadow was harmless.
Every one of us was born on the other side of something called “labor.” We enter the world completely helpless and fragile, totally dependent on the protection, care and kindness of others. We borrow the oxygen and assorted things for a span of time the Bible calls a “vapor.” Despite our claims to ownership, we take no possessions with us. And we end our sojourn on earth passing through something called a “shadow.”
Birth is a labor soon forgotten…
Life is a vapor quickly fading…
Possessions are an illusion suddenly passing…
Death is shadow silently creeping…
Is there any wonder we struggle sometimes to know what’s real? And what’s valuable? [click to continue…]
I spent 26 years in school. At each level I learned many things. I learned how to read, how to write, how to spell. I learned that Columbus really didn’t discover America, that the South was doomed from the beginning of the Civil War, and that we really don’t know who wrote the book of Hebrews. I learned to parse a verb, to multiply polynomials, and to define “fallacious” and “facetious.” I learned more theories related to leadership than I care to count.
But in spite of all the things I learned, those 26 years failed to teach me four very important things – lessons that can determine my success or failure out in the real world, where bells don’t ring and (true story) traffic lights don’t control the noise in the lunchroom. Let me share them with you – with the understanding, of course, that I’m still learning. Next year’s list could be completely different. [click to continue…]
Quick question: What would you do if you knew that you only had 30 days to live the life you now have? After that, your will life will be completely redefined.
You aren’t dead – just relocated.
Every relationship: history.
Every past accomplishment: strictly a thing of the past.
Every possession: soon to be somebody else’s.
Maybe, for the sake of playing out the fantasy side of the question, it’s a witness relocation effort or something. But regardless, the clock is ticking, and life as you know it is drawing to a close.
What would you do? Who would you do it with? How would you approach the growing, grim reality? [click to continue…]
I know a guy named Garrett who has completely changed my impression of him in a matter of a couple of years. When I first met him, he came across as a slacker – lazy, unmotivated, and a pretty bad student. But the last time I saw him he had rewritten his story – at least the one that played out in my head. Truth is, Garrett is sharp, actually quite brilliant as a communicator, and a potential world changer.
