The 10 False Beliefs of Shame

by Andy Wood on September 22, 2010

in LV Alter-egos, Pleasers

Feeling worthless lately?  Like you’re living under a cloud of futility or failure?  Chances are, it’s because you’re being lied to, and you’re choosing to believe the lie.  Below are ten hidden rules – ten lies – that, when we take them to heart, leave us knee-deep in a life of shame (and shame-based behavior).  They are beliefs, using lies, leading to shame, hopelessness, ineffectiveness, and turmoil.

See how many have seeped into your belief system:

1.  If I do it, I must do it reasonably well.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.  But it certainly should be awesome.

2.  If I do it reasonably well today, I must do it even better tomorrow.

Growth and improvement lead to better performance, which ultimately leads to perfection. [click to continue…]

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An old fable passed down for generations (and doctored a little bit)…

An elderly man was traveling with a boy and a donkey.  As they walked through a village, the man was leading the donkey and the boy was walking behind.  The young people there said the old man was a fool for not riding, so to please them he climbed on the animal’s back.

When they came to the next village, the moms in the crowd said the old man was cruel to let the child walk while he enjoyed the ride.  To please them, he got off and set the boy on the donkey’s back and continued on his way.

In the third village, senior adults accused the child of being lazy for making the old man walk.  The suggestion was made that they both ride.  So the man climbed on and they set off again.

In the fourth village, the animal rights activists were indignant at the cruelty to the donkey because he was made to carry two people.

The frustrated man was last seen carrying the donkey down the road. [click to continue…]

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grasshopperThis week a friend sent me a poignant and compelling image that describes what it’s like to live in a climate or with a spirit of fear.  But the image is so strong, I think it describes anybody who feels as though they are in a no-win situation.

I feel like a grasshopper on the ocean hanging onto a leaf.  I cling to the leaf to keep from drowning.  If I eat the leaf to keep from starving, I lose my life preserver, and drown.

I’ll tell you later what he learned in the process.  But can you relate? [click to continue…]

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(This is a piece I wrote a few years ago after meditating on 1 Corinthians 15:10.  It amazed me how quickly the words came, and it always seems to get a surprising (to me) response.  I recently received a very nice note about it from someone I’ve never met.  Since I’m traveling today, I thought I’d share it with you.  I hope it’s an encouragement.  And, of course, if you are encouraged by it, I would be encouraged if you would encourage somebody else with it by clicking “Share This” below.  Most of all, I hope you can say it’s your testimony, too.)

I am a product of grace.

No measure of performance could ever achieve in a lifetime

what the grace of God performed in an instant.

No failure to perform could erase

what the Spirit of God has completed for all of eternity.

I am a product of grace.

No nod of any human’s approval could compare with the fulfillment, the joy,

the wonder of knowing my Heavenly Father has turned His face toward me.

No amount of mortal rejection can change the fact that my Lord God

has made me accepted in the Beloved.

I am a product of grace.

No sin of the past, no matter how grave,

can resist the transforming power of a Risen Lord.

No future failure can change the fact that I am an heir of God, a joint heir with Jesus Christ.

I am a product of grace.

No situation, no pain, no frustration can rob me of my hope.

No force without or within can deny or change the fact that I am a new creation in Christ –

that every old thing is passed away and everything has become new.

I am a product of grace.

And grace never sleeps.  It never gets tired or weak, old or crippled.

It’s as new as the sunrise, and as powerful today as it was the first Easter.

Grace is my testimony and I its trophy.  There is never a time when grace is not

covering my sin or revealing me as God’s work of art.

I am a product of grace.  And I have a story to tell.

Once I was lost, but now I’m found.


Once I was blind, but now I see.


Once I was afraid, now I am at peace.


I am what I am.  That’s grace.

But I am not yet what I will be.  That, too, is grace.

Oh, how amazing!


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