Okay, you students of all things gloriously stupid! Time for another round of Hanukkah Hams. In case you’ve missed previous episodes, a Hanukkah Ham is a reminder of what can happen when unlicensed people are left free to drive an imagination without supervision.
What better place to discover colossal displays of “what-were-you-thinking” than in the hallowed halls of academia? I once had a college professor that said, “College is the only place where people don’t want to get their money’s worth.” See if these true stories, drawn from the actual testimonies of college professors, don’t restore your hope in the future of America.
Remember, friends – these people will be managing your nursing home. Or running your country. [click to continue…]
Lately a couple of popular blog sites have created fun lists of books they’re “thinking about writing” or “anti-essential Christian books.” Titles include Everyone Is Going To Hell Except Me (John MacArthur), God‘s Most Glorified When We‘re Most Calvinified in Him (John Piper), Right Behind – a fresh set of Apocalyptic chronicles (Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins), 2009 Reasons Jesus Probably Won‘t Return in 2009, Twilight: the Christian Version, and Angels and Deacons. I’ll give you a summary of my favorites below.
But all this has got me thinking. A lot! Here are 10 books I’d love to write. So many ideas, so little time…. [click to continue…]
Spiritual gifts are in the news lately. Figured out what yours is/are yet? It’s a fascinating study, provided we approach it with the right attitude.
The Internet Monk suggests that the Holy Spirit gives different people different gifts in different situations – challenging the assumption that we somehow receive a gift load when we are saved and carry that with us throughout a lifetime.
Tim Challies also wrote last month about discovering your giftings.
The Barna Research Group just did a survey on spiritual gifts and discovered some interesting stuff. Since they’ve been doing this for a while, they reported some fascinating trends among Americans claiming to be born again:
Evidently the Holy Spirit is recognizing a greater need for encouragement over the last several years (can’t imagine why!). The percentage that claims to have the gift of encouragement has tripled – growing steadily from 2% in 1995 to 6% today.
Also, apparently the Spirit has decided that Americans have enough understanding of the gospel (or maybe that some of the mega churches have all that sown up). Since 1995, the proportion of born again adults claiming the gift of evangelism dropped from 4% to 1%.
On the other hand, Lucy, churches may have some ‘splainin’ to do. Evangelicals who have no idea what their gift is rose from 8% in 2000 to 13% today.
One of the questions about spiritual gifts that comes up occasionally is whether the gifts mentioned in Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, and Romans are exclusive. That is, are those sixteen or seventeen spiritual gifts the only ones the Holy Spirit gives? Were those lists – all of which are different – meant to be just examples, or are they the only possibilities?
That sure came up on the Barna survey! More than one-fifth (21%) of survey respondents claimed to have spiritual gifts that aren’t mentioned in the Bible. These include:
a sense of humor
singing
health
life
happiness
patience
a job
a house
compromise
premonition
creativity
clairvoyance.
So I gotta tell you, my wheels are turning. While it may be risky to step outside the framework of the Bible, the possibility of other spiritual gifts brings up some interesting ideas. If other spiritual gifts really do manifest themselves in the Body, then I think I may have discovered some. And I’m sure building a wish list for others. So with apologies to the Apostle Paul, here are ten possible charismata he just didn’t mention: [click to continue…]
I’m about to share some relevant, important information to you – especially if you are interested in starting a business or avoiding germs. I’m also going to show you something that’s so painful, it’s funny (or vice-versa). Why? Because I can! And because The National Enquirer was right about inquiring minds.
But first, a story with a point.
I miss my old friend Randall. During our younger years, we spent many hours together praying, talking, and clowning around.
Randall once told about a funny, yet convicting experience. For a long time he’d been watching another highly-respected Christian. One day he announced to his brother Leigh, “I think I’ve finally found something wrong with Greg.”
Leigh, known for his dry humor and sometimes biting sarcasm, replied, “Congratulations! You found the mote!”
The “mote” to which Leigh referred was the old King James word for “speck” in Matthew 7:3-5.
“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, `Let me remove the speck out of your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
Next time you’re in a crowd of people, Christians in particular, look around. You will find your share of people whose “eyes” are filled with “motes.” And you’ll be tempted to look past the pole in your own eye to notice, criticize, or try to correct the specks in someone else’s. [click to continue…]
Life is too serious not to be laughed at. And 2008 has given us plenty of seriously funny expressions that soften our defenses, then make a point. Often a sharp one!
So without further ado, here, in reverse order are my 10 personal favorite funny blog posts from 2008. Many have links elsewhere, or combine videos with photos, etc. But you’re seeing them where I found them (or put them).
10. Speculators
David Hayward describes himself as “an artist trapped inside a pastor’s body.” His cartoons have appeared several times here. They often combine a funny thought with a sharp, convicting point. In “Speculators,” he pokes at the way people can and do profit from the message of the cross. Want more? Here’s one that mocks corporate mentality in the church. [click to continue…]
It was only a matter of time before something as festive and holy as Christmas brought out the fun side in all of us. And every year has its own version. Here’s a little Monday Christmas fun, Hanukkah Ham style:
Our friend Tim Hawkins, of Cletus Take the Reel fame, sends this Christmas Greeting. Click here then click on “The Christmas Puppy.”
Jacked-up Christmas Lyrics
A couple of weeks ago I was researching for a Christmas message titled “Jacked Up” about the crazy ideas and expectations people have around the holidays (you can hear it here: here).
I came across several web sites and blogs that talk about jacked-up lines in Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites:
1. In 1964 the Beach Boys released a song called, “Christmas Comes This Time of Year.” That’s helpful! Deep, too. Sort of like saying, “Monday comes this time of week.”
2. Andy Williams, among others, is famous for the song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” A line in that song says,
“There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories….”
Whoa, there, AW. How many people do you know that tuck their little kids in bed on Christmas Eve and tell them tales of bleeding holly, haunted sleighs, or demon-possessed reindeer? Now go on to sleep kids! [click to continue…]
Okay, all you fans of the amazing possibilities of humans left to their own ideas, it’s time for another edition of Hanukkah Hams! In case you missed previous episodes, a Hanukkah Ham was named after this, uh, “creative” marketing idea last year.
With all the gloom, doom, and sleepless nights about the economy, I thought maybe we could use a little financial inspiration.
Couldn’t find any, so this is what you get instead…
One of the fundamental truths of the New Testament is that money is “coined personality.” That is, people can see the “real you” in the ways you respond to and handle money. If you’re generous with your finances, you’ll be generous with other parts of your life as well. Same is true if you’re careless, stingy, unorganized, etc. This raises some interesting questions about some or organizations. If money is coined personality, we may have a few problems!
A couple of years ago, I walked into a local bank, started writing a check, and told the teller in my best deadpan voice that I needed $30 worth of Federal Reserve notes. He actually asked another teller, “Do we have Federal Reserve notes here?” “Ya mean, money?” she asked.
Last month a man in Warren, Michigan figured the best way to get a little extra cash for the holidays was to strong arm somebody and steal theirs. [click to continue…]
Soon we’ll be electing a new president, and get all those changes we’ve been hoping for. Gas prices are coming down. Congress will soon have – I mean, give us – some more of our money to spend. The economy is going up, or down, depending on who you listen to. The Iraq war is getting better, and troops are coming home. The Dallas Cowboys (plus Jessica) are America’s Team again. I guess there’s nothing left to worry about, right?
Wrong.
Not long ago I was in a public restroom that still had one of those pull-down linen hand towels. Somebody left the front panel off, and there for all to see were these emboldened words:
FAILURE TO LOAD PROPERLY COULD RESULT IN INJURY OR DEATH!
I dried my hands on my jeans. I mean, you never know! I could just see my tombstone now:
“Here the body of Andy lies,
He pulled on a towel, and found a surprise.
He lived life well, and we’ll never forget –
Now his soul’s with God, but his hands are still wet.”
I was eating at a world-famous restaurant that will go unnamed. As I walked beneath its arches (oops!) and ordered a burger, I grabbed a few napkins. There in beautiful print were these words: [click to continue…]
Elections bring out the best and the worst in people. Fortunately, in order to preserve our sanity, they also bring out the funny and the philosopher in us, too. Check out Walt Handelsman’s take on McCain vs. Obama: The 2008 Summer Olympics.
The amazing folks at jibjab have created this one:
Now for some real wisdom…
Athens had Plato and Aristotle. Israel had Solomon. Colonial America had Jefferson and Madison. We had Bobo Brown.
Somewhere up in heaven, Aunt Ruth is probably hooting. I know she would be if she were still around here.
Aunt Ruth (who was neither my aunt, nor was she named “Ruth”) used to love to catch preachers with their foot in their mouth; it was something of a hobby to her. Nothing could penetrate her sometimes-sharp exterior and produce uncontrollable laughter like hearing that a prim and proper “man of God” had just said something stupid. And she was cruel with it! One little snafu from you-know-who, and I’d hear about it for weeks. And between guffaws, as she would gasp for air, she’d always sound the same warning. If I spelled it the way she said it, it would read like this:
“You gotta watch them woids!”
Rather than get offended, I played along. We often entertained each other with stories we’d heard of other preachers. Like the time a preacher friend of mine said three times in a sermon, “I’m praying that God would make our church a cesspool of His love! A cesspool of His grace! A cesspool of his power!”
He was thinking artesian well. But that’s not what his folks were smelling at the moment.
Okay, you students of all things gloriously stupid! Time for another round of Hanukkah Hams. In case you’ve missed previous episodes, a Hanukkah Ham is a reminder of what can happen when unlicensed people are left free to drive an imagination without supervision.
Lately a couple of popular blog sites have created fun lists of books they’re “thinking about writing” or “anti-essential Christian books.” Titles include Everyone Is Going To Hell Except Me (John MacArthur), God‘s Most Glorified When We‘re Most Calvinified in Him (John Piper), Right Behind – a fresh set of Apocalyptic chronicles (Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins), 2009 Reasons Jesus Probably Won‘t Return in 2009, Twilight: the Christian Version, and Angels and Deacons. I’ll give you a summary of my favorites below.
Spiritual gifts are in the news lately. Figured out what yours is/are yet? It’s a fascinating study, provided we approach it with the right attitude.
I’m about to share some relevant, important information to you – especially if you are interested in starting a business or avoiding germs. I’m also going to show you something that’s so painful, it’s funny (or vice-versa). Why? Because I can! And because The National Enquirer was right about inquiring minds.
