When everything’s urgent and demands attention now…
And everywhere you turn invites stress at best, frustration at worst…
It’s hard to think, much less act, positively.
So remember again how you eat that elephant… [click to continue…]
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In the mood for a little detective work? Care to uncover a secret that may have right in front of our noses for years? It certainly was in mine, and I was oblivious.
Would you be interested in mining out some clues if I told you that when you do, you may have discovered one of the most powerful life and success principles known to humanity? And that if you master this one skill, the transformation in your own life, to say nothing of your influence and circumstances, can be breathtaking?
Am I exaggerating? No, if anything I’m understating the potential of this discovery.
Getting this – I mean really getting it – can explain why you tend to sabotage yourself after you’ve made progress toward a goal.
It may explain why churches or individual leaders lose their influence, or why they nourish it.
It may explain why you have made progress toward healing, then somehow hit a wall.
It may explain why your relationships go in frustrating cycles – hot today, cold tomorrow… intimate today, lonely later.
Finding this secret is like discovering a clock on your wall that’s been there the whole time, quietly ticking away, pointing to the correct time, but you may have never noticed it. In one sense it’s obvious – in another, it probably calls for a closer look than you have given it.
Will it help you win the lottery? Doubtful. But it could lead you to a place where you never pine away for sudden wealth again.
Will it solve all your relationship problems? Maybe, maybe not. But it will position you to gain the most from every relationship you have or want to have, whether others cooperate or not.
I wish I could tell you that this secret has been locked away in some government vault and is now being released to a select few, and that if you pay me $3,999.00 I will share it with you, along with seven free bonus offers. But the thing is, this secret has been in open view for anybody to see – and it’s free.
Still here? Ready? Okay, no more hype. [click to continue…]
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Some of the most profound lessons in life can only be discovered face down in a proverbial ditch. And that’s where I found myself about 25 years ago. My career was crumbling. My family life was devastated. Whatever influence I had was waning quickly. My dreams were being shattered. I was a complete failure privately, and was about to be exposed as one publicly. And for the moment, it was right where God wanted me to be.
There as life was crashing in all around me, I asked the Lord one of the most life-changing questions I could have asked, and He was gracious enough to give me an answer.
How did I wind up here?
The Lord showed me three things – three huge, blinding, colossal choices or habits that set me up for a trip to the ditch. The first I’ve already covered here – I allowed myself to get discouraged in one area of my life, and soon discouragement spread like spiritual cancer.
Here is the second. I read it on the 18th of the month – I know this because it was in Proverbs 18. But reading it was like reading a lab report on the condition of my heart.
A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment (Proverbs 18:1, NKJ)
At first blush it was obvious what that meant. I was a pastor. I was a public figure who made my living with words and relationships and eternal truths. I was “on” 24/7, or so I thought. So I gave every effort to play the part. I smiled pastor smiles. I prayed pastor prayers. I said pastor things. And when people asked me how I was doing, I gave pastor replies. “Good!” I would say, smiling.
I never told anybody otherwise.
I never shared what my biggest, most challenging obstacles were. I never shared the depths of what my dreams were, either for myself or for the church. I never told anybody I had gotten discouraged. I never asked for wisdom or help. I was a professional problem solver. I was supposed to be the solution to other people’s problems and the complete solution to my own… all the while presenting a front and leaving an impression that all was well.
The only way to pull all this off was to isolate myself. I even had a name for it – I called it “transparency to a point.” I would let people see and hear enough to believe I was being open and honest, but wouldn’t tell them too much.
Why? Pride, for sure, but that’s the third answer to the question… more on that later. Why isolate, then? Because I didn’t want people advising me to do what I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to ask for anybody else’s help to succeed. And I didn’t want to expose my life and work to somebody else’s opinion, wisdom, or direction.
In short, I isolated myself, and I was an idiot to do so. I would caution you against the same mistake. [click to continue…]
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When was the last time you literally felt the tension or stress melt off of you?
How long has it been since you were so relaxed, breathing felt optional?
Where do you go to remember who you are, or reconnect – not just spiritually, but emotionally and physically also?
What would it look like for you if you suddenly found yourself surprised by peace?
All that and more has a single answer for me: Friday. That was the day we interrupted our regularly-schedule life and made the two-hour drive to the farm. Know why? Don’t laugh…
I wanted to see the flowers. [click to continue…]
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There’s a house in my neighborhood. Beautiful place. Well built and spacious. And for the last two years, completely empty.
Not for sale. We have some of those, too, complete with yard signs and open houses.
Not in foreclosure. None of those stickers on the window with the bold letters NOTICE at the top.
No, this home – this beautiful home – is paid for (or being paid for). Ready for move-in. But for reasons I do not know, it sits completely empty.
I’ve been thinking about that house lately. I’m sure the owner has his reasons. But it sure seems sad that something built to provide a lot of comfort and satisfaction fails to fulfill its purpose as it sits, unoccupied. Hey, even the mail addressed to “current occupant” has nowhere to go. [click to continue…]
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I hate to start a piece with a bunch of disclaimers, but I think I should.
Still with me?
OK.
I had an “Aha!” moment the other day. You may have figured this out a long time ago, and maybe I’m late to the party, but hey, I was a 10-month baby. [click to continue…]
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Wrote a letter of recommendation the other day. That in itself is nothing unusual – I do that often and have done it for years. I often joke with whoever I’m writing it for that after I’m done I need a bath, or a priest or something.
“I’ve already lost the boots… I’m just trying to save the hat!”
But we both know I’m joking, and that I would never be deliberately dishonest – that would eventually catch up with them and me.
But between that and the opportunity I have to preach this weekend (here, if you are in the Mobile, Alabama area), I’ve been thinking about relationships.
(Preaching moment: Your life is the sum total of your relationships… with God, with others, and with yourself. As your relationships go, so goes your life. Okay, I’m done.)
This morning I was thinking about that reference letter, and about another one I wrote a couple of months ago. That one didn’t have to do with a job application, and it wasn’t even requested. I saw a friend and colleague’s LinkedIn profile, and spontaneously wrote a letter of recommendation for his professional practice. It was honest, heartfelt, and a total surprise, really to him and me both.
It was also a wonderful relationship builder. [click to continue…]
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It’s hard for Alex to force himself to go to work these days. The honeymoon there is way past over, and the only reason he shows up now is a paycheck. He compares himself to others who have gone way too long without any job, and feels guilty for complaining. But this work situation is starting to affect his health, his relationships, and his confidence. He’s been looking, but no other possibilities have presented themselves.
What does Alex do? Does he endure or does he walk away? Does he press on, or does he “step out in faith” in search of new opportunities?
Tyler and Jennifer have reached a similar decision, not about work, but about the church they attend. The congregation has been hit hard with splits, neighborhood transition, and pastoral changes. They have been a part of this fellowship since they married, and have faithfully served. But they have moved to another neighborhood themselves, and it feels harder and harder to go back to what feels like a sinking ship.
What do they do? Is this a time to be “steadfast, immovable,” and all that? Or is it a time to “mount up with wings as eagles” and fly away?
(Yeah, you can make the Bible say just about anything you want it to in cases like this.)
These kinds of questions are common for any believer… [click to continue…]
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I never laid eyes on you before.
Never had dreams come true before.
But there’s always a time for a new beginning.
Our multiplied sorrow now is through.
And all of the waiting’s over, too.
And it’s been worth it all, for this new beginning.
And who is like the Lord, who turns my mourning into dancing,
And holds all things together, in His hands?
He whispered, “Let there be…” and He began the world all over.
But this time He laid its future in my hands.
(Unfinished song I started 30 years ago today, when my baby girls were born)
Your life is an adventure in starting over.
You may prefer maintenance mode. You may want to pretend that you’re in perpetual motion. You may claim to be too old, too successful, too far along, or too [insert excuse here], but the fact is, your entire life is a collage of cycles and rhythms.
And that involves starting over. [click to continue…]
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Raise your hand if you want tomorrow to be better than today.
Raise your other hand if you would rather God give you prosperity than calamity.
Good. I’ve got you where I want you. Now give me all your money.
You and I were hard-wired for hope. Something in our DNA makes us want to believe that tomorrow can and will be better than today. When times are easy, we tend to presume on that. When times are tough, we go looking for it.
Maybe that’s why Jeremiah 29:11 has become such a popular verse in recent years. Go into any Christian book store or gift shop and you’ll see it on coffee mugs or on some idyllic painting or poster:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Doesn’t that do something for you? It certainly does for me. It tells me something about the heart of my God for me as an individual, and for the people I care about.
Trouble is, we take it completely out of context. [click to continue…]
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