How do you want to be remembered?
By what you did? What you said? Who and how you loved? What you accomplished or overcame?
That may or may not happen.
I was chatting with someone yesterday about the idea of legacy – one of those Five Laws of LifeVesting. He asked me to clarify what I meant and how people leave legacies after their time on earth is done. I said that legacy has two parts – the intentional and the unplanned.
There are some things I want to be remembered for, and I take action to make those memories while I still have a chance by investing my life in things that will live on after me. This is why people give money, write things, do art or music, or make memories with people, just to name a few.
But your legacy has a life of its own, and you’re making memories all the time, whether you realize it or not. Some of those are pretty routine. Some are painful. Some are glorious, and you don’t even know it.
Two days ago I got an email from Gotta-Love-Google-Land. It came from somebody I knew in my very first church staff position, 33 years ago. The message, framed with “thank you,” contained some profound memories. What was interesting, though, was what all those memories had in common. [click to continue…]
(From the forthcoming book, Coach Lightning)
(Note: Anybody can be an influence to people sitting right in front of them. But it takes a special kind of character to continue to shape lives you first touched 50 years ago. The following is an excerpt about the way Morris Brown did that, and how his influence lives on to this day. You can see other excerpts here and here.)
Benjamin Disraeli, the British statesman, once said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches, but to reveal to him his own.” That’s what you discover when you talk to the people whose lives were touched by Morris Brown. You hear the language of wealthy people. And they’ll tell you that Coach Brown was instrumental in revealing their riches to them.
One of the greatest contributions any leader, teacher, or friend can make in terms of influence is to “raise the bar” in the pursuit of excellence. Morris did that time and time again. Don Hunt calls him a “beacon in my heart and soul” to this day. From the days of Little League baseball until today, Don says, Coach Brown’s life and actions remind him to strive to be the best person that he can be.
It’s interesting to note that in all the conversations or interviews about Coach Brown’s influence, nobody went to a chalkboard and started drawing the X’s and O’s of a football locker room. Morris influenced players and students by first influencing them as people. As he helped raise up a generation of excellent people, the on-field or on-court play took care of itself. [click to continue…]
There’s this song I want to tell you about. I’ll get to that in a minute. First I want to tell you why I want to tell you. Or why you pass the word, purchase that ticket, read another book with that theme, or are drawn to a certain genre of storyline or TV show.
It’s all about the descants of the soul.
I don’t remember when I first noticed it or when I first mentioned it to somebody else, but it’s been a while. I began to notice that there were certain movies I found myself drawn to. No matter whether it was comedy, science fiction, intense drama or cheesy love stories, I found I was a sucker for stories where one person could make a profound difference.
It was my first discovery of the descants of the soul.
“Descant” is a musical term that in its most literal form means “a different song.” More precisely, a descant is an independent, ornamental melody sung or played above the main theme in a piece of music.
In life, it’s the story behind the story. The “song” that leaps from movies to music to conversations to dreams and has a way of knitting them all together.
A descant of the soul is an inner “melody” that sings to you – and through you to others. I have found that it’s also one of the ways that the Lord can uniquely speak to you or get your attention more quickly.
Descants of the soul are recurring themes that move us, fascinate us, and sometimes call us to action or faith or risk or change. [click to continue…]
Who is the shyest person you know? Picture them in your mind. Got it? Good. Now…
Imagine that person at the end of his or her life. And sometime just before they kiss this world good-bye they’re the guest of honor at the most amazing invitation-only celebration. This party is reserved for those whose life has somehow been touched – influenced – by Shy Guy himself.
Care to hazard a guess how many names are on the invitation list?
Ten thousand. A myriad. Ten thousand people whose lives are influenced by the most reserved, quiet girl or guy you know.
That’s nothing compared to the lives that have been impacted by bubbly ol’ you. And this isn’t about somebody else’s influence. It’s about yours.
This is about your myriad. Or in your case, perhaps your million. It’s about all the people who make decisions because of you. Who make changes because of you. Who establish relationships, try something new, dig deeper, grow wiser, or go farther because of your influence. Or, it’s about the people who grow hard-hearted, discouraged, dispirited, or fearful because you showed them how.
Somebody’s watching. Somebody’s doing. Somebody’s believing. Somebody’s changing. And they all have you to thank. [click to continue…]
(With humble apologies to the Mary Stevenson Estate)
One night I dreamed that I was dipping my feet in the dog’s water bowl
And walking the lonely journey across my patio,
Leaving wet footprints along the way.
Soon I noticed tiny little footprints appearing behind mine.
[click to continue…]
I believe that it is not dying that people are afraid of. Something else, something more unsettling and more tragic than dying frightens us. We are afraid of never having lived, of coming to the end of our days with the sense that we were never really alive, that we never figured out what life was for. – Harold Kushner
The great Presbyterian pastor Donald Grey Barnhouse was once riding in a funeral procession in Philadelphia when he noticed a large cargo truck running in front of the procession. From the way the sun was positioned, he noticed that the truck was casting a large shadow on the sidewalk. That shadow crossed light poles, road signs, and even people, and didn’t harm anything. No one would want to be in front of the truck, mind you, but the shadow was harmless.
Every one of us was born on the other side of something called “labor.” We enter the world completely helpless and fragile, totally dependent on the protection, care and kindness of others. We borrow the oxygen and assorted things for a span of time the Bible calls a “vapor.” Despite our claims to ownership, we take no possessions with us. And we end our sojourn on earth passing through something called a “shadow.”
Birth is a labor soon forgotten…
Life is a vapor quickly fading…
Possessions are an illusion suddenly passing…
Death is shadow silently creeping…
Is there any wonder we struggle sometimes to know what’s real? And what’s valuable? [click to continue…]
“Glamour isn’t greatness, applause isn’t fame, prominence isn’t eminence. The man of the hour isn’t apt to be the man of the ages. A stone may sparkle but that doesn’t make it a diamond. People may have money but that doesn’t make them a success. It’s the seemingly unimportant people who determine the course of history. The greatest forces in the universe are never spectacular. Summer showers do more good than hurricanes but they don’t get a lot of publicity. The world would soon die but for the fidelity, loyalty, creativity and commitment of those whose names are un-honored and unsung.” -James Sizoo
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The Race
It was a day of surprises. If you had told me the Friday before what I would experience on Saturday, I don’t know whether I would have stayed in bed all day or sat up sleepless the night before. That Saturday, those years ago, I had a taste of heaven. [click to continue…]
In the previous post, we explored the idea of Life Shapers – the people who help make you more than you naturally would be in specific areas. Some people influence you to be stronger, wiser, funnier or more committed to excellence. Others may influence you to be fearful, suspicious, negative, or angry – all by the ways they interact with you.
This may explain why you’re drawn to the friends you have. Maybe you like them, or maybe you like the person you are when you’re with them.
It may also suggest some people you need to avoid. What your Mama (and the Bible) told you about bad company rings true in many cases. But I’m not just talking about party animals or thieves. If they constantly leave you feeling shamed, rejected, angry or afraid, maybe it’s time to choose a new set of influences.
Quoting from the last post…
You are who you are largely because of the people who believe in you, have you in their hearts, and expect the best (or worst) from you. This may be a good time to say “thank you” to the ones who are building you up, and “good-bye” to the ones who tear you down.
And for those who still answer when you call or read what you write, maybe it’s time to wise up – and rise up – to the life-shaper you can be.
Bringing Out the Best in Others
Do you realize the potential you have to be a life shaper? You are just as much a potential influence on others as they are on you. And while your nonverbal communication is still much stronger, there are some intentional things you can do to bring out the best in others. [click to continue…]
I have a friend who makes me funny. Not makes me laugh. He makes me funny. As in Night-at-the-Improv, bust-a-gut hilarious. I hear myself say things to him I wish I could remember later and somehow capture the moment.
There are plenty of times when I do OK by a crowd and generate a smile or two. But this guy takes me to a whole other place.
How does he do it? For starters, he has a very rewarding laugh – one that boldly proclaims, “I think you’re funny.” He also anticipates the fact that I’m going to make him laugh. He’s always on the edge of another crack-up when we talk. On top of that, he tells other people how funny I am. The laughter we have shared has forged a unique identity I step into whenever we talk or get together.
I have another friend who makes me wise. As in Child-of-Solomon, guru-deep profound. [click to continue…]
Never has there been a higher call – or a greater need – for men and women of God with the heart of a Shepherd.
The Shepherd leads. He feeds. He knows the sheep by name, and lays down his life for them. His leadership arises from a heart that has once and for all died to all else but the lives of the sheep. He cares for the ninety-nine who cling to the sound of his voice; yet he pursues with reckless abandon the one who, intent on finding his own way, is now lost.
Be a Shepherd, for God’s sake! And in so doing, be an overseer.
Remember, you can never over-see what you aren’t seeing over. Rise above your own sins, self-interest, and troublesome circumstances – then you will discern what is happening in the lives of other people. Watch! Don’t allow yourself to become oblivious to what is happening in their lives. Remember, you don’t have to take your eyes off the sheep in order to hear from the Chief Shepherd.
Be a Shepherd, for God’s sake! And in so doing, be a willing leader. [click to continue…]
How do you want to be remembered?
