Tim Hawkins does it again…
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Spoofs
(Sung to the tune of “Christmas is Coming”)
Christmas is coming
The elves have been away
Now they’re returning from their holiday.
If you haven’t any reindeer
An airline flight will do
If you haven’t got an airline flight,
Then God bless you.
Christmas is coming
Although it’s still July
We’re going shopping, and no asking “Why?”
Hobby Lobby has your ornaments
And artificial pines
If you don’t have one in your town
Then shop online.
Christmas is coming
The elves may call it quits –
Santa’s reducing all their benefits.
If you haven’t got insurance
Obamacare will do
If you haven’t got Obamacare
It’s time to sue.
(Photo credit: EchoDeltaDeltaOscarNovember
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Our buddy Tim Hawkins is back with a new DVD, “I’m No Rockstar” – a 90-minute combination of stand-up, acoustic guitar comedy, and “rock star moments.” You can order it, along with his other awesome stuff, here. Meanwhile, here’s a hilarious tribute to the place where cows encourage you to “Eat Mor Chikin.”
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Lately a couple of popular blog sites have created fun lists of books they’re “thinking about writing” or “anti-essential Christian books.” Titles include Everyone Is Going To Hell Except Me (John MacArthur), God‘s Most Glorified When We‘re Most Calvinified in Him (John Piper), Right Behind – a fresh set of Apocalyptic chronicles (Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins), 2009 Reasons Jesus Probably Won‘t Return in 2009, Twilight: the Christian Version, and Angels and Deacons. I’ll give you a summary of my favorites below.
But all this has got me thinking. A lot! Here are 10 books I’d love to write. So many ideas, so little time…. [click to continue…]
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Spiritual gifts are in the news lately. Figured out what yours is/are yet? It’s a fascinating study, provided we approach it with the right attitude.
The Internet Monk suggests that the Holy Spirit gives different people different gifts in different situations – challenging the assumption that we somehow receive a gift load when we are saved and carry that with us throughout a lifetime.
Tim Challies also wrote last month about discovering your giftings.
The Barna Research Group just did a survey on spiritual gifts and discovered some interesting stuff. Since they’ve been doing this for a while, they reported some fascinating trends among Americans claiming to be born again:
- Evidently the Holy Spirit is recognizing a greater need for encouragement over the last several years (can’t imagine why!). The percentage that claims to have the gift of encouragement has tripled – growing steadily from 2% in 1995 to 6% today.
- Also, apparently the Spirit has decided that Americans have enough understanding of the gospel (or maybe that some of the mega churches have all that sown up). Since 1995, the proportion of born again adults claiming the gift of evangelism dropped from 4% to 1%.
- On the other hand, Lucy, churches may have some ‘splainin’ to do. Evangelicals who have no idea what their gift is rose from 8% in 2000 to 13% today.
One of the questions about spiritual gifts that comes up occasionally is whether the gifts mentioned in Ephesians, 1 Corinthians, and Romans are exclusive. That is, are those sixteen or seventeen spiritual gifts the only ones the Holy Spirit gives? Were those lists – all of which are different – meant to be just examples, or are they the only possibilities?
That sure came up on the Barna survey! More than one-fifth (21%) of survey respondents claimed to have spiritual gifts that aren’t mentioned in the Bible. These include:
- a sense of humor
- singing
- health
- life
- happiness
- patience
- a job
- a house
- compromise
- premonition
- creativity
- clairvoyance.
So I gotta tell you, my wheels are turning. While it may be risky to step outside the framework of the Bible, the possibility of other spiritual gifts brings up some interesting ideas. If other spiritual gifts really do manifest themselves in the Body, then I think I may have discovered some. And I’m sure building a wish list for others. So with apologies to the Apostle Paul, here are ten possible charismata he just didn’t mention: [click to continue…]
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Life is too serious not to be laughed at. And 2008 has given us plenty of seriously funny expressions that soften our defenses, then make a point. Often a sharp one!
So without further ado, here, in reverse order are my 10 personal favorite funny blog posts from 2008. Many have links elsewhere, or combine videos with photos, etc. But you’re seeing them where I found them (or put them).
10. Speculators
David Hayward describes himself as “an artist trapped inside a pastor’s body.” His cartoons have appeared several times here. They often combine a funny thought with a sharp, convicting point. In “Speculators,” he pokes at the way people can and do profit from the message of the cross. Want more? Here’s one that mocks corporate mentality in the church. [click to continue…]
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mudtrap.com
It was only a matter of time before something as festive and holy as Christmas brought out the fun side in all of us. And every year has its own version. Here’s a little Monday Christmas fun, Hanukkah Ham style:
Our friend Tim Hawkins, of Cletus Take the Reel fame, sends this Christmas Greeting. Click here then click on “The Christmas Puppy.”
Jacked-up Christmas Lyrics
A couple of weeks ago I was researching for a Christmas message titled “Jacked Up” about the crazy ideas and expectations people have around the holidays (you can hear it here: here).
I came across several web sites and blogs that talk about jacked-up lines in Christmas songs. Here are some of my favorites:
1. In 1964 the Beach Boys released a song called, “Christmas Comes This Time of Year.” That’s helpful! Deep, too. Sort of like saying, “Monday comes this time of week.”
2. Andy Williams, among others, is famous for the song, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” A line in that song says,
“There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories….”
Whoa, there, AW. How many people do you know that tuck their little kids in bed on Christmas Eve and tell them tales of bleeding holly, haunted sleighs, or demon-possessed reindeer? Now go on to sleep kids! [click to continue…]
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Elections bring out the best and the worst in people. Fortunately, in order to preserve our sanity, they also bring out the funny and the philosopher in us, too. Check out Walt Handelsman’s take on McCain vs. Obama: The 2008 Summer Olympics.
The amazing folks at jibjab have created this one:
Now for some real wisdom…
Athens had Plato and Aristotle. Israel had Solomon. Colonial America had Jefferson and Madison. We had Bobo Brown.
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Our buddy Tim Hawkins is back with a new video spoof. If you haven’t seen Cletus Take the Reel, check it out (it’s still my favorite).
This one’s of Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” – only this time it’s at a kids birthday party. Every parent who’s ever hosted one or every kid who’s ever had one can relate. (By the way, Cletus fans – look for his cameo appearance.) Enjoy!
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Dear Mr. Jefferson,
On behalf of the Society for Colonial Advancement in Rational Yankeeism (SCARY for short), I want to commend you on your recent effort. Your so-called “Declaration of Independence” certainly has promise, and your draft, should you deem it wise to proceed, is a fine beginning. However, the Society has some concerns about some of your language and felt quite certain that such a Rational man as yourself would appreciate the opportunity to make a good work even better. To wit:
-Your reference to the “Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God.” While we admit that children in Sunday Schools may still believe in a Supreme Being, our society finds such a reference demeaning to the human spirit. Moreover, a couple of our members are somewhat anxious about what you mean by “Laws of Nature.” They find such a phrase to suggest that it might somewhat limit the “creative expression of their unique identity,” if you catch my drift.
-Again, your use of the words “created” and “Creator” leave no room for our understanding that humankind has evolved over millions of years. While we delight in your reference to “life,” “liberty,” and “the pursuit of happiness,” we prefer to let individuals define for themselves what those constitute, free from the constraints suggested by “endowments” from an Almighty entity.
-The appeal in your closing paragraph to the “Supreme Judge of the world” is most disconcerting of all. Such references to Ultimate accountability are mean-spirited and reckless – inappropriate for use in public life. Perhaps rewording it more kindly – something like “cosmic love-giver” or the more human, “judgment of humankind” would improve the document.
-Finally, sir, regarding the pledge of “our lives, our Fortunes, our sacred Honor,” we find such phrases alarming. Put bluntly, sir, the pledge of life suggests the risk of life. We find such language to suggest the barbaric possibility of war to secure the “blessings” (another offensive religious word) of liberty to a generation yet to be born. Rather than pledging your considerable fortunes to secure liberty for those you do not even know, we suggest pooling your funds to help the poor you already do know. Such an act would appease the King and earn goodly favor in the press. Moreover, it avoids the risk of death and war. As we say, “Better taxed than terminated.”
In conclusion, Mr. Jefferson, while we appreciate some of the sentiments expressed in your document, we must vigorously request the address of the aforementioned concerns. Failure to do so may make it necessary to consult with a local magistrate. In other words, good sir, we’ll see you in court.
Sincerely,
Seymor Dredd
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