What Would You Do If You Wuz the Devil?

by Andy Wood on August 12, 2010

in Uncategorized

“What would you do if you wuz the devil?” Aunt Ruth asked. 

“I’d retire and sue the movie industry for back pay,” I said.

Aunt Ruth was neither my aunt, nor was she named “Ruth.”  Through a series of circumstances I don’t have space to tell, that’s what I wound up calling her.  Crusty, funny, frank, and yes – godly – Aunt Ruth had eyes that danced long after her feet no longer could.  Today her eyes were dancing.

“I’m serious,” she said.  “What would you do?”

“Oh, the usual, I guess.  Lust, greed, bitterness.  Why are you asking?”  (We’d been talking about how blessed we were as a church, and how excited I was about the future.)

“Come on, boy, he’s got more sense than that!  Too bad you don’t.”

“I’m a lot more concerned about what God is doing,” I said in my best ministerial tone.  “We’re growing, lives are being changed, people are getting saved.  Relationships are being restored.”

“So what – would – you – do – now – if – you – wuz – the DEVIL?” she asked, more emphatically.

“I’d get mean old ladies to torment the pastor!”  (There weren’t many people I could talk to like that.  Aunt Ruth was one of ‘em.)  “What would YOU do?”

“I been thinkin’ about that,” she said. 

(I figured as much.) 

“If I wuz the devil, and I couldn’t win as your enemy, I’d try to win as your friend!”  Her eyes were really dancing now.


“What kind of things do you do with your friends?”

“I meet them for lunch, we do stuff together, we get away from the grind and come up for air.  I encourage them, and they encourage me.  And we watch each other’s backs. ” I said.

“Yep.  That’s what I’d do if I was him.”

“Well I haven’t had any lunch invitations from the devil,” I said.

“Nope.  But I bet you’ve had a few pats on the back tellin’ you what a great guy you are.  Hmmph.  And how you deserve a break.  Uh hmmph.  And how much better you are than ol’ so-and-so.  And what some jerk said about you.”

I smiled silently.  Guilty as charged. 

Aunt Ruth was quiet, too.  But those eyes were still dancing.

I guess if the devil always looked like the devil, he wouldn’t be the devil, now would he?

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Mattie August 13, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Andy, a songwriter by the name of Andy Gullahorn penned a song on this very subject that really hit me. Very much a “Screwtape Letters” kind of thing, where the tables are turned and we see just how the enemy might think. The song is titled “If I Were”. Check it out here: http://www.andygullahorn.com/music/RTB/files/page6_2.mp3

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