Hey… you on the treadmill or the carousel.
Yes, you. I have a question for you.
Remember the time you had an idea that would make a difference in your world? Remember when you aspired to something better? Something richer? Something gloriously possible because you imagined it so?
Yeah, so… whatever happened to that idea? Whatever happened to your dreams?
Remember when you were on a mission – when you had a sense of calling and clarity, and you even gave the G-word as your source? Remember when you stepped out in confidence because God told you to?
Yeah, so… whatever happened to that calling? Whatever happened to your dreams?
Remember when you were enflamed with passion or infused with hope because you could see it, taste it, enjoy it even before you experienced it? Remember when you were so excited you could hardly sleep at night?
Yeah, so… whatever happened to that passion? Whatever happened to your dreams?
Remember when you were determined to get something done – to solve a problem or meet a need or advance a cause? Remember when you swore that you were done with idle living and wasted time?
Yeah, so… whatever happened to that determination? Whatever happened to your dreams?
Remember when you were surrounded by can-do people who spoke into your life with encouragement and faith and offered to help you get where you were going? Remember when they convinced you that you had what it took to get it done?
Yeah, so… whatever happened to that connection? Whatever happened to your dreams?
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I’ve done a little detective work and I think I can help answer that. Just don’t ask me where I got this information. It’s from a highly classified source. But here are five places where your dreams may have gone missing.
1. They were skewed by magical thinking.
Rather than take you to a place of faith, courage, and responsible action, your dreams carried you to a La La Land of whimsy and fairy dust, where “all you had to do is believe” or some drivel like that. You thought that if you just intended something to happen or felt the desire strongly enough that all the forces of the universe would line up to make it so. You believe that your bold statement of confidence was all you needed to make the demons skedaddle and your naysayers hold their tongues.
Surprise, surprise! Your dreams took time and work and (gasp!) you may have actually had to fight and sweat and pray and persevere and wait a while. Or maybe you [cue the music] Dreamed the Impossible Dream and it was a little more impossible than, well, impossible.
Magical thinking doesn’t mean calling for the coroner for your dreams – it just means connecting them more soundly with reality.
2. They were shelved by being too busy.
The bell rang and you went back to class. The whistle blew and you punched the clock again and again. Social media called and, [Hey! Did you see the size of that catfish? And I swear, that Greg is hysterical! And look at those C-U-T-E baby pics!]…
OH… Where was I? Oh yeah, busy. Sorry to be Clark Killjoy, but advancing toward your dreams takes time. It doesn’t always have to take a long time, but it does take quality time. As in, focus, focus, focus!
Sometimes your biggest enemy is the quietest. And in this case the biggest threat to your dreams may be that little passing thought that you can always work on your dreams tomorrow.
Sometimes your biggest enemy is the loudest. I’m talking about the anxiety and worry that drives you to be busy being productive, but not purposeful. Earning a living without living a life.
If you’re too busy to dream, you’re too busy.
3. They were gut-punched by disappointment.
Nobody ever told me that the longer you live the more disappointment hurts. That’s why the longer you live, the more you tend to shy away from potential disappointment. You quit trying. You quit risking. You’re even counseled by the “experts” not to risk as much because you have less time to fix what caused the disappointment.
Okay, so you took a risk on a dream and went down in flames. And now, in the name of avoiding that pain again, you’re deciding – you’re actually deciding – not to risk again? Or you’re looking for a dream that guarantees that you’ll never be disappointed? Good luck with that.
Here’s a thought… rather than pretend you’re OK when you aren’t, why not throw a fit. Weep. Wail. Gnash your teeth – it can be very therapeutic if it doesn’t give you a headache. Have something of a funeral for whatever expectation you had. Then go back to school and learn why it didn’t work. Reconnect with whatever it was about the dream that fired your passion in the first place…and allow that passion and love to give birth to a new vision. I’m telling you, it’s worth it.
4. They were choked by discouragement.
Disappointment is a feeling. Discouragement is a choice. Disappointment is based on experiences. Discouragement is based on thoughts – mostly stupid ones.
Discouragement is a mocker. It says things like, “That was a dumb idea,” or “This is a waste of time.” Discouragement is also a liar. It robs you of your will to move forward and pushes you back into a world of predictability and boredom. Discouragement makes obstacles look bigger than they are, problems look more complicated than they are, and your efforts look less effective than they are.
Discouragement usually starts long before you actually quit or give up. It gets louder and louder, even while you are pressing forward with your dreams. Before long, the discouragement itself is bigger and louder than any problems you may have with your vision or goals, and the easiest thing to do is just hang it up for some relief.
As I’ve said before, discouragement is spiritual cancer. It’s quiet, reasonable, and deadly. Deal with it now, or it will deal with you forever.
5. They were blindsided by pessimists.
Whatever form they take – downers, critics, cynics, scoffers, naysayers, gloompots (made that one up) – negative people can devastate dreams. They obviously don’t have any dreams of their own. Or maybe they have their own agenda. Either way, they seem to view their calling as killing other people’s vision.
By the way, if you just read that last paragraph and said to yourself, “Well some dreams need to be killed,” please don’t invite me to lunch unless you’re buying. With cash.
Look. There’s a place for the tough questions. There is plenty of room for thoughtful massaging of a plan or idea. There is certainly a place for accountability and strategy. But there is nothing virtuous about somebody who seems committed to making your life as empty and miserable as yours.
One final thought. Some dreams really should die. But only when they’re replaced by a better one. A healthier one. A timelier one. A godlier one. What shouldn’t die is the dreamer in you. The one who sees the world as it is, but imagines a world that could be, and sets out to bridge the gap between the two. Arthur Blessitt said, “I love to dream. If a man stops dreaming, we are dead before we die.”
Don’t be a walking corpse. It’s time to dream again.