I want to tell you how a man invested in his future, and in mine. It happened nearly 15 years ago. He was in West Texas, I was in Memphis. Limited by distance, I was forced to have The Talk with him on the phone. It was a talk I dreaded.
This man was my father-in-law.
I had brought a lot of pain into his life and his family. And to say they were hurt and angry about it is putting it mildly.
I knew that in order to move on in a healing process in my life, I had to face up to some pretty serious mistakes – sins – and he and his family were the victims of a lot of that. I knew that regardless of what I would hear or how he would respond, I had to have The Talk.
Did I mention that I dreaded making that call?
It all took place in a matter of minutes. But the impact of a simple phone conversation, and the investment of words he made, still have impact today.
“I know I have brought a lot of pain into your life and into your family,” I said to him. “I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, and to ask your forgiveness.”
“Yes,” he said, “we are hurt and angry. But I need to ask you something.”
“What’s that?”
“Do you believe God has forgiven you?”
“Yes sir, I do,” I replied.
“Then who am I not to?”
This man, who at age 80 still practices medicine and tells people every day about Jesus, invested in my life by demonstrating that he, too, was a debtor to grace.
He invested in his family by modeling something that most of them weren’t ready to do yet.
He invested in his own future and eternity by viewing the sins of others through the same lens that Jesus used on the cross: “Father, forgive them….”
I believe one of the reasons he is active, healthy, and still changing lives today is because he makes short work of forgiveness. I wonder sometimes if he is exception, not the rule.
Too many people die too young, too broken, and too useless because their self-righteous pride or blinded bitterness just can’t let go. They have wallowed out a nest of pain, and being perpetual victims is as natural to them as breathing.
If that describes you, for God’s sake and yours, get a life!
Let.
It.
Go.
More later. But for now, I have a little work to do myself. As Norman Cousins said, “Life is an adventure in forgiving.”
Andy, you’re father-in-law sounds like a wise man. I have been on the “unforgiving” side of someone who caused me a lot of pain, physically, and a condition that I will have the rest of my life. This happened over 10 years ago and really, just in the last couple of years, I have forgiven him. Although, for me, seems to be an ongoing process, not just a one time thing. I wonder, is this wrong? Why is it so hard to just Let. It. Go.? Thanks for the reminder.
Pam,
For one thing, forgiveness is a choice you may have to make daily – especially when you are dealing with new feelings or circumstances. For another, there is a difference between forgiving an offender and healing of the hurts. It’s hard to let.it.go. when the hurt won’t let.YOU.go! That’s where the healing grace of the Lord comes in. To forgive an offender is to place yourself in a position to receive healing from the Lord. But as I am learning, you have to ask for the healing.
.-= Andy Wood´s last blog ..The Bus =-.
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