Write your epitaph. That was the assignment.
I was attending a nifty goal-setting seminar, sponsored by a local business. The two presenters were carrying us through a series of exercises to help us clarify our highest priorities, so that we could prioritize our time consistently with our deepest passions. Think of it as a LifeVesting seminar where Jesus was welcome, but not necessarily the host or guest of honor.
Anyway, the presenter asked us to reply to the following:
“(Your name) was known for…”
But this was no press release or publicity sheet. I had to assume the ultimate.
I’m dead.
Room temperature.
Grinning at the moon.
Taking the dirt nap.
And all that’s left of me is what I could stuff into this vapor of a life. So, supposing I had some control over how I would be remembered and reported, what was Andy known for?
Up until this time in the seminar, I had enjoyed visions of success. Suddenly I was faced with significance. It was moving. Sobering. Eye-opening.
They gave us fifteen minutes. I think I was done in five. I was surprised how quickly the words flowed on paper, and to this day, they remain in my prayer notebook just as I wrote them.
Want to know what they are? Heck no. Write your own!
Just kidding. Here’s what I wrote:
Andy Wood was known for:
- Making a difference in the lives of others, beginning with his own.
- A faithful husband, loving father, a man of God, and a man of integrity.
- A man who was a builder, first of human lives, then of more tangible things.
- A man who knew how to laugh, especially when others were sad or miserable.
- A man who knew adversity and overcame it.
- One who bred loyalty in people.
- One who loved to create, who understood and fulfilled his life purpose, and who helped others find theirs.
- And one who remained throughout his life a friend of children.
What was so eye-opening about that, you ask? The fact that it was much less about achievement than it was about relationships. That it was less about my estate (that’s actually a relief!), and more about the effect I had on other people. That stripped of pleasure, profit, and power, what’s most important to me – and probably you, too – is faith, hope, and love.
Reinhold Neibuhr wrote (hey look, I’m quoting a theologian!):
“Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love.”
“There are three things that will endure,” Paul said, “faith, hope, and love – and the greatest of these is love.”
Even if there were no heaven or eternal life, those three factors –
what you really believe,
what you confidently expect from the future,
and who you really love –
form the key to your influence on future generations.
So what are you passing on? Here’s a thought: let’s not wait until we’re dead to start writing our epitaphs. What will yours say? I dare you to write yours below, then live it.
Hi Andy,
I’ve done this exercise as well…very sobering, thought provoking, and yes – life changing! You hit the nail on the head when you said the exercise brought out less about achievement and more about relationships. I call that more about connections and less about things.
Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if our children experienced this exercise before graduating from high school?! I can see how that would change the world!
On another note, I love your humor. It’s refreshing to visit a blog and feel like I’m having a conversation with the writer. Well done! We’ll be visiting often.
Cheers!
Mikis last blog post..Redefining Success
Thanks, Micki! I appreciate the encouragement, and hope you’ll stop by often.
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