Years ago a Persian king wanted to discourage his sons from making rash judgments. He sent the oldest son on a winter journey to see a mango tree. Spring came and the second oldest went on the same trip. Summer followed and the third son went. When the youngest boy returned from his autumn visit, the king called them together to describe the tree.
The first said, “It looks like a burnt old stump.” The second described it as lovely and green; the third declared its blossoms as beautiful as the rose. The fourth said all were wrong. “Its fruit is like a pear.”
“Each is right,” the king said. “You just saw the same tree in a different season.”
Before you evaluate other people, make sure you have seen them in all their seasons. No one is always anything. That rude and careless driver may be on their way to the hospital with an emergency. That old grouch may actually be a lot of fun when he isn’t in so much pain. That woman who is aloof and distant may have just been told she has terminal cancer, or that one of her children may die. And just as winter turns to spring, your first impressions of others – if you let them – will change as well.
Seasons. Our lives are filled with them. Every time I look at an old photo album or yearbook, I see reminders of other seasons in my life. Pictures of when I actually had hair on my head, not in my ears. Reminders of brash immaturity and a sharp tongue. Memories of my guitar-playing, singing days. Seasons of goodness; periods of devilment. All in the same body.
Suppose there was someone who only knew you when you were in the fourth grade. How would they describe you? What if someone’s last image of you was your senior year of high school? Who would you be to them?
To Mrs. Beard, my algebra teacher, I was a loud-mouthed class clown. To Paul Baker, I was a crybaby.
To my scoutmaster I was an achiever with strong character. To Mike Dunaway I was a dirty-minded hell-raiser.
To the kids in the neighborhood I was the best athlete around. To Coach Cahoon I was a fifth-string quarterback on the Freshman football team.
So who was right? Who had the best image? All of the above, and more.
Our lives are like movies – thousands of “pictures” that flow together and are constantly moving and changing. But often we see them – and the lives of others – as if they are still pictures of a frozen moment in time.
The implications of that simple concept are staggering. Unless you’re still in high school, you sports-hero days are over. So are your hell-raising days, if you have changed.
Did you screw up last year? That was last year! Were you victorious last month? What about this month? Thank God, we don’t have to live with our frozen images of yesterday! We don’t have the luxury of passively hanging on to them, either.
What about other people? Are you living with a snapshot of the person you married? They’ve changed, whether you care to admit it or not.
Do you still measure someone’s life by the way they disappointed you months or years ago? That’s too bad. For them. For you.
Are you going through tough times right now? Trust me, if you can. It’s a season. It’s real, but it’s not forever.